On one of the hottest days ever, we were treated to a random visit by cartoonist and writer Bryan Lee O’Malley who had just come back to Los Angeles from the London premiere of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Bryan’s the guy who created Scott Pilgrim and wrote and drew the comic that Edgar Wright turned into one of this year’s best movies. So it was a real treat (and kind of weird) to have Bryan randomly drop by for some new polo shirts since for the past two weeks I’ve been talking to anyone who’d listen about how they should absolutely see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Creeeeeeepy, yet cool!

If you’re one of those people still slow in getting on board with this film, just go see it tonight. I swear, you won’t be disappointed. And then when you’re done go buy all six volumes of the original Scott Pilgrim comic and start eagerly awaiting the Scott Pilgrim video game! You can read me gushing on and on some more about the film here.

In the meantime why don’t you enjoy this cartoon (done in O’Malley’s original comic style) that Adult Swim produced to promote the film. I really hope Adult Swim considers turning this into a full fledged show.

Мишка LA
1547 Echo Park Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90026
213-536-4234

Sometimes I think we forget just how long Insane Clown Posse and the Dark Carnival have been around and stirring controversy. A Bloglin reader forwarded me this old comic from a 1997 issue of Spin for us… which by the way if you didn’t know, A whole back catalog of Spin magazine are now viewable for free on Google Book. But I digress…

The Family’s always been vilified, long before their innocent pondering about “magnets” to the chaos of this year’s Gathering. I forgot that just a few months after it’s release the Great Milekno was recalled by Hollywood Records (AKA Disney) for inappropriate content. So why don’t you take 10 minutes and enjoy this rather critical (and sometimes scathing) comic by Mike Rubin and Mark Dancey from 13 years ago examining the who, what and whys of ICP’s popularity.

Thanks to Ryan O’Conner for the heads up and trip down memory lane.

Amidst a general sense of post-gym stank and a pile of funny books among my computer desk rubble, I bring to thee this week’s edition of Near Mint Condition. This week is a welcome respite to my wallet-rapery, the line looking a little thin, but I welcome it. After knuckling down and crushing most of my backlog since you’ve last been corrupted by my interwebs babbling, I’m finally caught up on the various titles I read. As always, these are the comics that caught my eyes, and as us fanboys are bound by various eccentricities and allegiances, I suspect your pull-list may be vastly different. I welcome it, and hope you drop your comic purchases in the comment box.

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Thor: The Mighty Avenger #3
Roger Langridge and Christopher Samnee are putting together something special on this rather unassuming title. I caught wind of it a couple of months ago, and was finally able to put the first two issues in my grimy paws last week. It’s legit, yo. As Marvel is understandably ramping up the amount of Thor titles on the market in lieu of his movie droppin’ next year, it’s awesome to see they’re filling these titles with writers and artists that are talented as funk.

Langridge is telling the origin story of our Strapping Young Lad of Thunder with an elegant simplicity. You walk through the still-new realm of Midgard with Thor, as he comes to grips with the notion that he has been banished by Poppa Odin. And god dammit, the way it is told is simply fun. Not enough comics can just grab you and take you on (what is thus far) a light-hearted romp. I don’t want to call it a simple tale, since it is written in a way that can convey some really deep mythology and strife in a way that’s accessible and enjoyable like woah. We have enough angst and existential brooding in our comics, and fuck if i don’t enjoy it. But this comic is a nice reprieve from the rain that drizzles on so many comic book characters’ miserable existences.

Not to be forgotten are Samnee’s pencils which echo the simple attractiveness of the plot. I haven’t been aquainted with Samnee before, but I’ve already fallen in love with his crisp, cartoony drawings, and his clean use of panels.

Langridge and Samnee are telling an extremely enjoyable tale with a clarity in plot and visuals that is far too exceptional in the shit I read.

Dig on it.

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The Sunshine Makers re-presented by Think or Smile featuring “West World” by Brandon Biondo.

A story of blissed out gnomes who have the ability to distill sunshine and bottle it. Provoked by haters, the gnomes go to battle with goblin buzz killers. After a dip in sunshine juice the goblins are soon doing the happy dance.

This feels appropriate for a Saturday morning, no?

Via All, Everyone, United

I’m not really that big a fan of The Crow, both the movie and comic book and I always found it’s rise to Goth status-quo to coincide with Goth’s overall decline into the fourth ring of hell AKA Hot Topic. But I do love Nick Cave, I don’t think there is a single other songwriter who’s lyrics i know as intimately as I do Cave’s (Even if it’s mostly what I think the lyrics are).

Like most somewhat successful franchises of old, The Crow is getting a reboot by director Stephen Norrington (who directed the very under-appreciated and campy Blade). Norrington also wrote the original script that the studio didn’t think was all that hot and decided to bring in a new scribe,with a “Red Right Hand” to rewrite it, Nick Cave. If this sounds kind of odd well then you just don’t know Nick Cave that well! He’s actually had a long albeit intermittent career with film, known mostly for penning the 2005′s Australian western, The Proposition.

Now if anyone can make The Crow successfully dark, moody, bloody, melodramatic and full of biblical references it’s Nick Cave. Read more about it at the Wrap.

Amazing Spider-Man #638
Alright, fuck every other comic that is coming out this week, I want to talk about Peter Parker. This week, the Spider-Man event One Moment In Time is kicking off. The event is in response to the other Spidey event that took place in 2007. That shiz was called Brand New Day. In this wonderful arc, Spider-Man was faced with a choice presented by Mephisto. Mephisto was all like, “Yo, I can save your dying Aunt May. But in return, you will never have married Mary Jane.”

Somehow, and for some reason, Peter Parker decided that this was a solid deal. What a dumb bastard. He chose his rickety old fucking Aunt May, over his gorgeous, accepting supermodel wife? This shit has irked me for some time now. Dude Pete, she ain’t even your Mom, yo. I know, I know, same thing, close enough, blah blah blah. So poof! With a wink and a nod, and probably some magical smoke that makes people disappear and stuff, Mary Jane and Peter Parker were never married.

Somehow.

Why’d it happen?

Well, it happened because Mephisto wanted Parker’s love. Or something. But we know why it really happened: because Marvel had no idea what the fuck to do with Peter Parker anymore. Parker was the character that apparently everybody related to growing up. I didn’t, I was a total X-Men dude. I was more comfortable running around with a pack of mutants, watching Wolverine gut dudes and totally talk smack to Scotty Summers and secretly hitting on Jean Grey.

As a brief aside, did you ever consider Wolverine’s enhanced senses? Like, what’d they be like in the bedroom? I imagine sniffing a pair of panties with his skills is either the greatest thing ever, or he passes out and goes semi-catatonic.

But anyways, people related to him. Why? Because he was dorky, and disaffected. Because he didn’t fit in, and he had typical teenage angst, and he had a rough go of things. His parents were dead, he kept waking up with webbing in his pants thinking about watching Mary Jane cheerleading at the pep rally.

Peter Parker married to Mary Jane?

That shit changes everything! Parker wasn’t angsty anymore, he wasn’t unfulfilled. He was a middle-class teacher, married to a gorgeous supermodel who accepted him for all his quirks and the fact that he dresses up in tights and fights giant reptiles. Acceptance. Evolution. Before Brand New Day, Parker wasn’t the character that people had grown up to love, who was eminently relatable. He was normal. And apparently that was boring enough, and scary enough, and far enough away from his “roots” as Joe Quesada put it, that they had to use one of the most contrived storyline mechanics I can recall to pull it off.

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Your friendly neighborhood Hateball plans his year around Comicon. There. I said it. Come January, I start telling my clients to expect outages in July. Feb and March is the hotel/plane ticket truffle shuffle. April/May is spent alternatingly celebrating the birth of the Easter Bunny and hounding Brian Ewing about booth details, release schedules, and other general ducks-in-a-row-edness. May June is spent getting my OWN shit together on whatever giveaway I’m doing for my other job, and then, well, July is spent waiting. Stalled. On the side of the road. Waiting for those fateful 5 days in the SD heat, rubbing nuts to butts with all the other mouth breathers.

But! Don’t be fooled. No matter what your girl or my girl or anybody else’s real-life girlfriend tells you (as, I have never heard a girl that I actually know ever admit that some other girl that nobody knows—in costume or otherwise—is actually pretty, looks good, is worth looking at, etc. But still) there are some awesome lady sights down Comicon way. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed or not (I’m sure Caffeine Powered has), but: most characters a girl would want to dress up as have some pretty scant fashions. Some hotness. Some tightness. And of course, there’s always the scathing radness of her dudefriend and/or walking buddy.

So, as was the case last year, this is my homage to Comicon ladies. Some gems I’ve snapped in prior years, if only to encourage you—O loyal order of the Bloglin—to come down, post up, and don’t be too weird about it.

Incidentally, if you read this AND you go there, I’d love to shake hands with yas. I’ll be at booth #433 hanging with the likes of the one and only Mr. Brian Ewing, with frequent yet unpredictable appearances made by the Buff Monster. If you’re nice, and you tell me how utterly suave and sophisticated you find my writing—and by proxy, ME—to be, I might give you some swag. Or at least a hi-five. Or, incidentally, if you’re really pretty, I might ask you to stand next to one of my friends so I can take a picture of you that I will then write about next year. META-that.

Buncha photos after the jump.

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[adult swim] must be a company run by dudes a lot like the one who run МишкA, with a juggalo fascination and full of people down with the clown! This is the 3rd time they have showed some clown love on the air in a short span! The first time was on Superjail!, The second time was Aqua Teen Hunger Force back in April, and now the newest episode of Squidbillies boasts clown paint and copious use of the word “ninja.”

This episode looks to be airing this Sunday, July 4th @midnight and is appropriately titled “Clowny Freaks”. So here’s is your heads up and make sure you DVR it, because if you’re like me you’ll be getting your dance on over at our 4th of July bash! Until next time, may the carnival be with you…

I apologize for the tardiness of NMC. I was detained within a walk-in closet last evening due to nefarious actions beyond my control. When I returned, I found the following typed into a word document:

Ahoy! Mutiny on the Cyber-Sea! Caffeine Powered has been sent walking Spanish and now I, Pepsibones Krueger, am steering this vessel known as Near Mint Condition! Yes! Finally! I GOT THE TOUCH! I GOT THE POWER!

*Ahem* Yeah, so anyways, I’m going to highlight some of this week’s more notable comics releases. Join me – it’s going to be a blast.

Captain America #607

Bucky Barnes continues to rock the shield, even as Steve Rogers has been brought back from wherever. As a fan of character development (I know, I know, maybe I should reevaluate my loyalty to comic books), I am more than pleased that `ole Stars and Stripes’ status quo hasn’t been reinstated. Instead, Brubaker gets to keep pleasing fans readers by toying with paneled mythology.

Truthfully, I kind of forget what’s going on in the series right now. I remember that Bucky and Falcon slap down some thugs and Baron Zemo plans something treacherous. I’m assuming we’ll get more of that this week. With Brubaker/Guice teaming up, the book is virtually guaranteed to be enjoyable.

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Green Lantern #55

Holy shit. This might be the most ridiculous issue of GL in recent history. Setting the tone, this is a crossover with Brightest Day – an event whose direction I’m still unsure of. Yeah, we all know that it has something do to with the end of Blackest Night and whatnot, but what the hell’s going on? Is this something I should really care about or should I just put my eggs in the Return of Bruce Wayne basket? Nevertheless, I give Brightest Day the pass because I got hooked up with an ill White Lantern ring.

So, this comic promises a brawl between Lobo (at one-time a satire, now more of a pastiche) and Atrocitus (the Red Lantern who reminds me of Abdullah the Butcher). Of course, these two troublemakers won’t get away with this sort of intergalactic caca. If I had to guess, I’d say Hal Jordan is going to step it up, punch a hole in the butthead by whom he is most annoyed, and then call it a day.

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Invincible Iron Man Annual #1

You gotta love annuals. As I’ve come to know them, these editions usually offer more pages, better art, and more concise storytelling than their monthly counterparts. I’ll gladly shell out an extra buck for book that I’ll actually remember years down the road.

For Tony Stark’s first annual, the tried-and-true team of Fraction/Larroca present some sort of backstory for the Mandarin. From the descriptions I’ve read, it seems as though the issue will operate in a fashion à la The Killing Joke; there will be both genuine hints and well-played misdirection, captivating readers while never giving away too much.

If you liked the Iron Man flicks, you should check this comic out. Matt Fraction has done a terrific job of writing stories to lure in new fans while paying respect to the legacies that the more dedicated fanbase has spent years adoring.

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Yo! Welcome to Near Mint Condition, where I babble about the comic books coming out every week, and other fanboy opining. This week is all about the motherfuckin’ Heroic Age. Yeah, word. If you haven’t been paying attention, after last week’s culmination of Siege, Marvel is all about hearkening back to the glory days and shit. The entire gang is back together. Thor, Steve Rogers, and Tony Stark have put their shit inside just in time to have a righteous Memorial Day BBQ. There’s going to be mead, robots, and Steve Rogers not being cool with all the low-cut tops that the chicks are wearing. Oh Steve Rogers, you know you like them boobies.

Enter the Heroic Age #1
No new status quo, era, or event is complete these days without some bullshit one-off that kicks off the new beginnings or whatever. Unfortunately for Marvel readers, the Heroic Age doesn’t bring an age where you don’t have to purchase bullshit titles to know that the fuck is going on. The promo for this comic reads “THE HEROIC AGE STARTS HERE”, and I’m all like, yeah, it starts here, but what the fuck else is going on in it? Wait for it: a bunch of like three-page stories by various writers and artists.

The crisis in this comic book? Your wallet getting fucked for $4. Stay away.

If you’re looking for something to kick off your entrance into the Heroic Age, you’re better off checking out Avengers #1. Ever since Bendis snapped apart Avengers back in 2003, there hasn’t been an adjectiveless Avengers title for you to follow. There’s been a shitload of other ones though: Dark Avengers, New Avengers, Mighty Avengers, Young Avengers, Erotic Avengers (featuring She-Hulk), but there hasn’t been the old school title. Shit’s droppin’ this week, and it’s probably your best bet for surveying the new Marvel Universe.

I know I’m being hyperbolic when I pretend there’s like, totally, a huge seismic shift.

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I have to say, now that Siege has ended, and Marvel has completed some enormous, sprawling, seven-year storyline, I have to take a step back and applaud the effort. Listen, I admit I’m a Marvel fanboy. No, I don’t troll forums and write stuff like BATMAN SUXX FUK YOU KID. And for better or worse, I’m terminally gay for Clark Kent. But as a whole, I enjoy the Marvel Universe more. I just do.

So take it with a grain of salt when I state that the entire arc of storylines from Avengers: Disassembled to the Heroic Age is impressive as fuck. For the Universe to ride one narrative for so long, to commit to such a trajectory is quite a feat. Sure, in the end they’ve reverted back to a more simplified universe. No Registration Act, Steve Rogers is back, et cetera. Comic books always return to their status quo. Jean Grey always comes back. But the fact that they took this story through so many twists and turns before finally pulling the trigger and restoring Marvel to Happy Land?

I dig it.

It’s something that DC did similarly with their Brightest Day storyline, and I appreciate their effort as well. However, as I said, I’m a Marvel fanboy. And for whatever mediocrity some of the Marvel events have been through the past couple of years, I’ve preferred them to the DC ones. I mean, Infinite Crisis was decent, but even a Grant Morrison fanboy like myself can’t defend Final Crisis, let alone figure out what the fuck it meant.

Everyone is going happy and shining brightly and being heroic and shit.

I just prefer the Marvel way.

Like I said, I get a boner for mutants.

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