You really could not have written this dude better. The more I learn and see about Kim Schmitz, the currently incarcerated figurehead of MegaUpload (not to mention recently ousted #1 worldwide Modern Warfare 3 player), the more I think he really is the perfect internet hero. He’s like 4chan in massive human form, a true and incredibly troll who is currently trolling the planet basically. I love it.

Here’s a several year old video of what you do when you’re incredibly rich and still dress like Neo if he was sponsored by Ross. Though this was apparently for an MTV Asia show called Chiseen, I would like to think that Kim Schmitz just does shit like this on the regular, handing police comically large wads of cash when they try to intervene. Also, wow this dude is truly humongous. What an asshole. A giant, awesome asshole. Pause.

Via Kotaku

It is no surprise to any of us that, when watching a show like CSI, you can see a midget get ground up in a wood chipper and fed into a sewer, and yet Marg Helgenberger is not then allowed to say the name of that brown liquid the vertically challenged vic’ ended up in. The double standards of censorship in American media are as sewn into its DNA as dating competitions and quirky platonic friends who live in impossibly large New York apartments.

I bring this up because, for the second time in 5 years, the US Supreme court will be taking a look at the constitutionality of censorship on major network television. Keep in mind, first, that even if they did declare it illegal due to violation of free speech legislation, the content of NBC/ABC/etc… would not necessarily change overnight. These entities are still beholden to their advertisers for profit, and as such are essentially obligated to hold themselves to their standards.

The practical result would be that the FCC (a government agency) could no longer fine these networks for their supposed transgressions (think Janet Jackson’s nipple). It would, however, be a moral victory (or loss, depending on how you look at it. My feelings are mixed, as you’ll see). With the presence of classic “family-values-oriented” conservatives like Antonin Scalia in the court, I happen to think that the legislation will remain the same (maybe slightly altered) but that’s not the point (at least not here). The point is to, hopefully, get a discussion going about the utility of “morality” based censorship in American media and its reflection on our personal conduct.

Though we may deride it in private circles, distancing ourselves from censorship by glibly drawing attention to its hypocrisy, we nonetheless tend to tacitly accept and even support it in day to day life. After all, though the argument would be that swearing or sex is a part of our existence (which it is) and as such should be just as acceptable and prevalent on television, would you not only be shocked if Matt Lauer suddenly started saying “fuck” a lot and Meredith Viera popped a titty, but also inspired to take to the internet to point out how insane it is that they’re doing it?

This all stems from our cultural conditioning to these standards, stretching all the way back to our puritanical roots as a nation. Or so it seems. I’m no psychologist, only a guy with a keyboard, but I’d like to think that my own personality could have at least a measure of control over my reactions to hearing a swear on TV, in the sense that I can judge it subjectively and not as the member of a collective. So do I not take at least some actual offense to these things?

I suppose the answer has to be yes (or at least for this article to be interesting) so then why? And what is to be made, then, of the acceptance of violence? Let me first say that none of these ideas have to do with the intent of the FCC (though I don’t want to pigeonhole them either, I just don’t know) but rather the way these things have been interpreted/altered/absorbed by us, or I guess me.

The FCC Attempted to Fine NYPD Blue $1.2 Million for this Shot

The simplest way to ask this is “Why am I okay with being shown/not shown certain things and what would be the effect of that changing?” I think, optimistically, that the answer lies in the desirability of allure. By that I mean that, 9 times out of 10, the idea of what is in the box is more attractive than what it actually contains. The next step being that, when shown only translucent boxes, the box loses its meaning entirely.

So keeping the public (ostensibly “the children” but in reality everyone) from sex and vulgarity preserves them, while constantly exposing them to violence protects them from it. Let me start with the second half. I’m not saying that CSI “desensitizes” you to violence. I think that idea is idiotic. Of course if you saw those things in real life you would still be horrified.

I think that reaction is innate in most people (there are, of course, aberrations). I do think, however, that violence on TV can take away some of the dread/existential burden of the unfortunately violent society we live in. Which I think can be a good thing. It’s okay to be afraid of violence and death, but maybe watching it on a little glowing box can help you not be afraid of it all the time. It is, to be clumsy, like a nightlight.

The much more uplifting side of this coin is the preservation of the mystique of sex and swearing. I enjoy the censorship of swearing because, obviously, if that is taken away then swear words become just words. And I love swear words. I don’t want “fuck” to become equitable with “pumpkin”, “mortgage”, or “whisk”. We, as humans, need to feel as though we’re doing something wrong every once and awhile, even if it’s just a word, to keep our sanity.

Then there’s my favorite part, the protection of the mystique of sex. Sex (and it’s inextricable bedfellow romance) being perhaps the only thing in our society that retains a palpable ethereality. Not showing sex to kids is a good thing, not because it would hurt their brain or something, but because it allows them to (when they deem appropriate) discover all it’s wonders, quirks, and intangibilities for themselves. To bombard them with it before then would be to ruin a good surprise.

So, while I think (not know, mind you) that agencies like the FCC and the particularly maddening MPAA are filled with corrupt assholes, I do see how our society has parlayed their actions into something that has, at least in part, a positive effect. One of many counterarguments is that censorship is blatantly in violation of the first amendment, which it totally is (I see no way around that), and as such should not be allowed in America for any reason. That would be a counterargument I could undertand. I’m sure there’s plenty of counterarguments I could understand, and I would love to hear them. It’s an immensely complex issue that is by no means as black & white as some people treat it. Thoughts?

In 2011 we were lucky to bring Travis Egedy, who you probably know better as Pictureplane, on as a Bloglin contributor. In between work on his amazing album Thee Physical, Pictureplane wrote about all sorts of interesting things for us, whether it be his best-of for Psychic TV or his updates on the burgeoning #Seapunk movement.

For the end of the year, Travis has put together a list of ten things from all different spheres, whether it be music, art politics, or even geographical, that he considers to be the biggest cultural touchstones of 2011. Enjoy!

~Whole Milk

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10. Rebecca Black’s “Friday”

We all remember where we were when we saw it first: the hilariously dumb lyrics, the awkward singing, the cheesy effects, the non sensical and pointless rap verse; This was THE video of the year. It was also the public’s introduction into the weird weird world of Arc Music Factory. the un-ironic or self aware tween music company that was a never ending rabbit whole of WTF’s.

But it was “Friday” that stole the show, and with good reason. It was such an abomination on all fronts that it was somehow really endearing, and will go down in history as a classic of internet meme culture. Here’s to Rebecca Black and the Arc Music Factory, for making the world laugh, and drop their collective jaws in 2011. <3

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9. Ryan Tracartin’s “Any Ever” at MoMA PS1

I have written about my love and appreciation for Ryan’s work here numerous times. A futurist, he is truly becoming the voice of a disembodied generation. A generation that occupies a multidimensional digital landscape that is truly scitzophrenic, psychedelic, and hyperreal. Ryan Trecartin‘s work is a reflection of our post-post modern age in a way that feels very important and highly relevant in a way that most artists work is not. “Any Ever” was his big museum show this year (rare for any artist his age) and i flew out to New York just to see it.

I was able to meet him, and even ended up in a strip club with him later that night (right after I was almost arrested with my friends Ryder Ripps, and Cody Critcheloe from SSION, but thats another story).  So, back to the art, consisting of 7 different videos in different rooms that were fully immersive environments, the show was fantastic and hugely inspiring. it is hard to think of any other artist really speaking as poetically about my generation like Trecartin. a true genius. i look forward to following his work for years to come.

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8. AraabMuzik Live at Ghe20 Gh0th1k

AraabMuzik had quite the year, mainly by blowing a lot of peoples minds with the great Electronic Dream. But I was lucky enough to catch a live set by the producer in a small basement rave in Bushwick, Brooklyn. The party was one of the notorious and famed raves put on by the often imitated, but never duplicated Ghe20 G0th1k crew, and that night, AraabMuzik was a secret guest.

Teeing talent like AraabMuzik in a DIY punk style setting like that was nothing short of legendary, and his set melted the room. He just stands at his MPC, and beats at it like some sort of cyborg, seemingly un-human. It was a real game changing moment, for all of music. I feel like no one could believe what they were seeing, or hearing. That night AraabMuzik tore a hole in the fabric of reality, no joke.

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7. Teotihuacan

In April of this year, I was fortunate enough to travel down to Mexico City to do a performance with the dark lord Ritualz. The whole trip was incredible and I was also able to go to Monterrey and DJ tribal musica to local kids there alongside one of my favorite producers, 17 year old 3ball phenomenon, Erick Rincon. It was something I will never forget. But the most amazing and life altering experience came from visiting the ruins of the grand city of Teotihuacan.

Full disclosure, the experience of the ruins was enhanced through some high grade mexican LSD, but it wasnt the acid that made it special. Being in such a sacred ancient place that is architecturally sound with the earth, its environment, and the cosmos is nothing short of mind altering. no modern buildings have this effect. It was very powerful, and I couldnt help but wonder of course, just WHAT was the true purpose of these massive pyramids? Maybe one day humanity will remember our true past. Oh, and we also shot a music video while at the pyramids.

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6. Prurient’s Bermuda Drain LP

My album of the year. I feel I have already written in depth a few times about this record, but it is just flawless and epically beautiful.

A dark masterpiece of sound design and brutal emotion by the mighty noise god, Prurient. Noise purists were confused and angered by this release, what with the synths, and the drum machines! Heaven forbid. Respect.

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5. Snack the Planet

In July, an art event like no other I have been a part of occurred in downtown Manhattan. Inside the Museum of Art and Design was a room with a fully equipped flavored oxygen bar, energy drink shrimp cocktails and cyber snacks, the most fashionable of the contemporary New York underground, and a black-lit white carpeted chill out space with blue plastic blow up furniture.

This was Snack the Planet, an experimental party thrown by curators of the next age, Patrik Sandberg, and Lauren Devine, both affiliates of the always amazing DIS magazine. The idea was to somewhat re create the classic cyber-arcade hangout from the seminal 1995 movie, Hackers, but what ended up being created was a genuine Temporary Autonomous Zone. Lighting and “set design” was left up to genius design crew Thunderhorse Video who hand made the entire cyber bar from scratch.

Performances included the incredible queer-art rap poetry of Mykki Blanco with Physical Therapy as her DJ, supreme vibe controllers Teengirl Fantasy, and myself with full choreography by my two incredible dancers, Raw Acid. The event itself was just unbelievable. the energy was explosive because everyone was high on oxygen, life, and energy drinks.

During my performance, people were literally humping on the ground, blowing up condoms, molesting my dancers, and generally just freaking out. I honestly dont think a crowd has been that fanatical in uptight Manhattan since the early 80′s. it was a sight to behold, and that night, Snack the Planet was a cultural revolution. view incredible photos by Rez Avizzar of the whole night, here.

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4. James Ferraro’s Far Side Virtual  

The conceptual art statement of the year, Far Side Virtual was a revelation. From the genius merry prankster that is James Ferraro, the album was a psychedelic journey through our consumerist culture. As a statement regarding what it is like to be a human being living in a manufactured reality, where everything is designed to be simplified and consumed by a mass audience, this album hits that on the head better than any essay of cultural theory could.

Sounding like hitting the “demo” key on an old keyboard while shopping in a supermarket while riding an elevator in Starbucks all captured on a thrift store VHS cassette, nothing sounded like this this year. Yes, it is that fucked up. I don’t know how he did this. It is simply brilliant.

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3. Matthew Stone’s Optimism As Cultural Rebellion at Hole Gallery

Matthew Stone is a british artist whom I have been a big fan of for some time. A few years ago in denver, I was hosting an art salon in a speakeasy bar once a month, where a small group of artists and thinkers would get together to discuss a topic. On one occasion, we chose to discuss the radical notion of optimism and its revolutionary power to change. I presented some of Matthew Stone’s essays on the idea of how optimism is extremely important and as a tactic in radicalism and the progression of culture and spirit.

So it was fantastic to be able to attend the opening for his American debut show dealing with that concept. There was a deep transcendent spirituality to the work in the show, which is one of Matthew’s gifts and strong points. Matthew’s photographic and sculptural work is extremely poetic and romantic and references classical painting, yet is overtly queer and contemporary. I feel a spiritual connection to Matthew as he fancies himself a bit of a shaman and shares a lot of the same conceptual outlooks on life and humanity that I do. His work shows the power in geometry and in the human form, the soul inside of the body. it was just sublime.

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2. American Indie Rap Getting its Groove Back

As an old school indie-rap head (um remember Anticon?) it was cool to see that 2011 was the year American underground rap broke out with a vengeance unseen since the days of Company Flow in the late 90′s. With the music industry in steady decline, mainstream artists were left scratching their heads, as their lyrics of money, cars, and clothes were becoming increasingly irrelevant. It seems like indie rap was everywhere this year, with the internet explosions of Odd Future (“Yonkers,”anyone?) and Kreayshawn, like it or not, teenagers on DIY budgets were making a loud splash.

This year we saw the breakout of some new stars climbing to the top from the underground. Artists like Danny Brown and A$AP Rocky both had incredible, and dare I say historical albums, and shit Das Racist were on the fucking cover of SPIN magazine. Rappers like Young L and SpaceGhostPurrp were putting out really dope mixtapes. And I saw the magician god himself, Lil B, give one of the weirdest and most avant guard performances I have ever seen with full on new age spoken word sermon during the Supermoon at the Fader Fort during SXSW to over 2000 people. that was some incredible fucking shit. ART RAP IS BACK!

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1. The #Occupy Movement and the Global Uprising

Watching 4am live stream on the internet from some dude’s cellphone of hundreds of riot police violently destroying and dismantling the #occupywallstreet protest center in Zucotti Park because of a media blackout was disgusting, enraging, and an event that shook the world.

Talk as much shit as you want on the occupiers, but this year they succeeded in snapping people out of their dark trance illusion that everything is fine and well in the world. It was the news story of the year, that was barely covered or taken seriously by the government owned mainstream media. As they say, you can’t arrest an idea, expect only more global conflict and revolution in 2012. Tear the shit down.

I’m always reticent to get up on a soapbox about things political, but the press’ continued and purposeful ignorance of the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), an incredibly frightening bill which is this close to passing in congress, has forced my hand. Yesterday was the first day of tweaking and debate over the final version, and all six amendments put forth by the small contingent of people who aren’t completely crazy were handily shot down.

If it passes, which is becoming a surety, SOPA is the first large step towards censorship of the internet that is managed not only by the government but by private companies. Ostensibly a way to cut down on internet piracy, the bill is spearheaded by major entertainment companies. That is why you will not see it covered on any mainstream news outlet. The bill is a kind of addendum to last year’s Protect IP.

That bill had much more restrictive parameters for what sites it deemed required censorship, but anyone reading this who is passingly familiar with internet piracy probably experienced the same Orwellian fear I did when you visited a site only to be greeted by a Federal Seal and a paragraph describing its seizure by the US government. Let me quickly clarify that the loss of piracy is not the problem here. I acknowledge that piracy is wrong. I like it, but it’s wrong.

The problem is the means that will be used to achieve that end, means that any American should immediately recognize as wildly unconstitutional and infuriating. Many of the channels through which illegal piracy is conducted are also channels through which massive amounts of legally transmitted data passes through every day. If you’re prepared to accept legislation like SOPA, then prepare to say goodbye to things like MegaUpload, YouSendIt, Mediafire, etc.

If that still doesn’t get your goat, then consider this: the logistical methods that will be used to enforce the censorship of those sights (the same methods, by the way, that are used by the Chinese government to prevent their citizenry from “dangerous” information) will fundamentally compromise the safety and infrastructure of the internet itself. It will also force major internet companies to divert their time and effort away from innovation and into keeping pirated content off of their web properties for fear of shutdown.

Y’know who is for this? People who have no idea what it really means. The members of congress are famously bullheaded about technology, and still somehow think it’s just a place for “nerds.” Speaking of the “nerds,” wanna know who’s actively and fiercely against SOPA? Companies such as Google, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Yahoo, AOL, Mozilla, and eBay. The giants of the internet, people who understand it better than anyone else, are certain that this bill is an absolutely terrible idea.

It boggles the mind that congress refuses to listen to them. Almost never have they come off as more ignorant and unintelligent, like a complete gerontocracy who are utterly out of touch with how the modern world works. I never thought I would be the person to say this, but if you’re looking for something to do about this, please call your congressman. Apparently they don’t know how to use the internet.

Further debate over the bill has been postponed until after the government recess in early January, so hopefully more of the public will become aware of (and against) SOPA. The internet’s one of the few good things we have left. Let’s not fuck it up, okay?

I’m no genius, I’m just a mad guy, so here are some links to articles that can give you even more detailed looks into the massive problems with this bill, I highly suggest you read them if you’re at all interested.

I’m probably Prolly’d on this, but it doesn’t seem to have too many views, so I figured it would be worth posting. I get genuinely, and deeply enraged when I see this kind of shit, which is why I have to really meter how much I watch the news. I got arrested the first time when I was 8, and growing up in South Florida meant dealing with a paramilitary police force for all my young adult life. Seeing this kind of stuff takes em straight back to being 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, and getting handcuffed, rough-housed, and harassed over shit that I should have been free to do (mostly skateboarding). Fuck those cops, I hope they all sink into deep depression, cease caring about personal hygiene, and contract serious illnesses.

For real though, the solution here is to shit your pants. When it escalates like that, you gotta actually really lose your shit. Vomit, piss, shit, whatever it takes, but at that point the police have collapsed the social mores that bind us. Come unbound in the face of corruption and you change the game. The moment you shit your pants, or fake a #ceasar it changes everything. It’s fuckin crazy eerie that they haul dude off into that tunnel at the end. And the choke slam? May all your sperm lead to chromosomal deficiencies you worthless slime.

Just a month after retiring from 60 Minutes the crotchety hater Andy Rooney has passed away at 92, following complications with a minor surgery. Sorry if that past sentence came off as insensitive, but c’mon. For the past 30 years or so Rooney has done nothing but bitch about how young people and modernity are stupid. I saw one of his segment where he complained about different kinds of shoelaces. In the same segment he complained about the price of bananas. Watch him ramble above about how “normal” of an American he is because he likes ice cream, sunny days, and a win for his favorite team.

His entire worldview was cemented in the swell 1950s and anything that came after that was targeted as an annoyance. And instead of taking a look at new technologies, music, shoelaces, Rooney just wrote it all off as inconvenient and was paid millions to do it. He saw his fans as an inconvenience too – never answering fan mail, signing autographs, brushing them off in public.

“I don’t like e-Books.” Stunning insight, bro.

For the record, dissent is great. Emotional outbursts, and the apotheosis of the opinion are not. If you really need your fix for “change” though, this seems to be pretty different, and gone. Peep the explanation here.

So, by now you’ve either heard about #OccupyWallStreet, or you’re an old person. But what you may not have heard was that JP Morgan Chase donated a cool $4.6 million to the NYPD in recent weeks. I’m sure they thought they were slick, but word got out. And now it seems that a telephone call between Chase’s CEO Jamie Dimon and NYPD’s main PR dude Paul J. Browne has surfaced. We’ve known that these dudes are fucked, but it would seem now that evidence is mounting against them.

I don’t know how you feel about Michele Bachmann, but my mother loves her. And by that I mean she hates her. Not to get into politics too much, but I would imagine you feel the same, Reader. If not, that’s a bit bizarre, and I would think that a lot of the stuff on the Bloglin offends you. But, I don’t know, maybe not.

After their first video uncovering the meaning behind Republican candidate Rick Perry’s epistemology, Bad Lip Reading is back at it again, this time translating Bachman’s alien language into intelligible, or at least, understandable terms. “And when I buy stickers for folks in prison, I bring milk, not backyard meth. It’s a prison party.” Exactly.

If you’re from New York and grew up or worked in or around any of the Hasidic enclaves, you probably caught a glimpse of the Shomrim at night rolling around in their unmarked vans full of stoic looking Jews you wouldn’t want to fuck with. If you’re outside of New York, hell, even outside of Brooklyn, the thought probably seems completely surreal. Most people think of the Guardian Angels as NYC’s vigilante organization since they’ve been fully engrained into our pop culture lexicon; but the Shomrim have been going strong for almost 20 years patroling places like Williamsburg and Borough Park, operating mostly outside of the law. Up above is a recent recruiting film of these badass Jews at work taking down the bad guys, who of course are mostly going to be either black or hispanic.

I found the video pretty campy and surreal, and I know these dudes exist. Shit’s looks like some bad 80′s cop show crossed with a Tim & Eric bit. I wish there ere bonus features complete with the casting call for the “criminal element.” Anyway, If this vid peaked your interest, the Village Voice just did a big expose on the organization who were flung into the spotlight recently because of the brutal murder of Leiby Kletzky. Go check it out and don’t fuck with the Jews.