I almost promised myself I wouldn’t post this but it’s early in the morning right now and I’m making poor choices. The newest leak from Cam and DJ Drama’s upcoming mixtape Boss Of All Bosses 2.5 is a tribute to everybody’s transit beat down meme. Listen:

If there is some strange reason you want to keep this song forever then download it here.

*BONUS* Feel free to vote for my first and last LOLCAT.

I know a good chunk of you follow Pee-wee Herman on Twitter, but I doubt many of you realize Elvira has a Twitter. I of course do, because I love Elvira. A few days ago she tweeted the above pic of her and Paul Reubens back stage from one of his Pee Wee performances. I thought this was a pretty adorable picture and was happy that two of my childhood faves are still in touch…

“Still in Touch?” Oh you never realized that the Mistress of the Dark was in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? Skip forward to 2:08 mark of the famous Tequila scene and you’ll find Cassandra Peterson in a rare cameo sans her usual Elvira get-up. I think she still looks great at almost 60.

No, not those kinds of Cathouses! These are cafes in Tokyo were patrons can spend some time enjoying the company of cats! I know this sounds ridiculously odd, but it’s Japan Ok? How is this any odder than this? It’s actually infinitely way more sane if you ask me. Just look at the guy up above just waiting to me you!

The concept behind these is very similar to Japanese hostess bars where you can select from a wide range of girls in a variety of outfits ranging from maids, school girls, gothic lolita to just your favorite anime characters and enjoy some drinks or even some video games in their company. Above is the “menu” of all the lovely cats you can select to spend your time with for ¥900 (about $10) an hour.

Coilhouse recently took a visit inside one of these Tokyo Cat Cafes and has a great rundown of this very surreal experience that was filled with highly trained cats and I’m sure some pretty creeped out Japanese patrons. I mean who wants the presence of a weird westerner as you try and get your cuddle on with some sweet, sweet kitties.

As with any good cathouse, there are some rules of conduct patrons must adhere to. Above is said rules of the house… just like with strippers, you must also be gentleman with these saucy felines. Why Cat Cafe’s you say? Most people unfortunately just do not have the space in their Tokyo apartments to house a cat, let alone deal with it’s litter box. Plus the work environment in Japan can be very, very stressful and who wouldn’t want to relieve some of that stress by stroking one of those guys for a little while?

Best believe I’m hitting one of these up in a week or so! Just don’t tell my girlfriend… I’m just kidding she’s coming with me. We actually visited something sort of similar to this in Amsterdam, De Poezenboot!

A Journey to delicious and beyond. FRISKIES wet cat food unlocks a magical world of sensory stimulation for your cat.

Friskies, the gateway drug to “Adventureland”. I wish I could visit Adventureland, frealz.

Maru played with a stick of the inside.
Therefore I corked it.
He is desperate to take out a stick of the inside again.

Mrs. Hateball and I have been following the antics of Maru, the adorable internet cat for a couple months now. the last time I posted cute cat shit to this blog (would link but cannot find! Doh!), I got completely and totally flamed, but, well, that was about a year ago, so I figured I’d try again. The true irony is that I am absolutely NOT a cat person, but for some reason, when someone documents the lives of their pet(s) on the internet for (what at least seems to be) their own happiness and no other reason (even though I think this person put out a book or something?) it just sort of makes me smile.

To boot, I am in the land of Maru at the moment: chilly Tokyo. I was going to take the week off of all things internet, but, sadly, I am sitting in my crackerbox (pun intended) of a hotel room waiting for my bank to call be back…my cards have been frozen because I have obviously stolen them and am attempting to run up fraudulent charges at Snoopy Town and Secret Base. Duh.

Still: sitting here, watching Sumo wrestling and drinking Asahi is pretty relaxing. I have to admit it. Even though I’m staring into this goddamned device, I can’t help but smile: after this is more Infoquake (started it on the plane), and then I’ll wake my lovely bride up and we’ll either go get noodles at Hanamaru (the cheapest date I’ll ever have) or try to venture into some fine dining. Either way, we’ll follow it with single-serving Hagen Dasz from AM/PM and come back to the room with a few tallboys. Here we are, big and ridiculous in Japan. Again.

I’ll hopefully have some awesome photos to post next week. I’ve already spotted the most offensively amazing (and hot) poster I’ve ever seen in my life, and it’s just my first day. Gozaimas.

Ever wonder what your favorite fast food mascots are getting into when they’re not selling you fried chicken and burgers?

This news clip is surely on its way to becoming 2009’s year ender internet meme so let’s aid the push by sharing it with all of the creeps on the Bloglin!

A 4 year old from Tennessee was found drunk in the middle of the night wandering his neighborhood wearing a dress which he had stolen from under the Christmas tree of his neighbor’s house along with other presents. The boy’s mom explained his intentions as simply wanting to spend Christmas with dad in prison. Cute! Mom also said it was an honest mistake and she’s doing the best parenting job she can and that’s really all you can expect from somebody.

Below is an interview with the neighbors that were burglarized by the drunken 4 year old Grinch.

Home for Thanksgiving, pretty sweet so far.  First off let me say that I am Jewish, so there is no Christmas for my family…and Hanukkah ain’t what it used to be…so Thanksgiving is a pretty big deal for us.

I got home and got my first Thanksgiving present: Party Rats!  That’s right.  They are little plastic rats that strap onto your fingers and then light up different colors.  OK, simple enough premise, but the here is what it is advertised for:

Whether you’re dancing at a rave with a few hundred of your closest friends, or plugged in for some night blogging, Party Rats are the fun way to have fun.

NIGHT BLOGGING?  You gotta be fucking kidding me.  But I just want you to know that from now on when you see a post of mine you better BELIEVE that I will have these on my fingers.

Anyway, enough about Party Rats, how is YOUR Thanksgiving?  Getting pretty psyched over here.

Some of you on teh internetz may know a dude named Ryder Ripps. I know Ryder. My girlfriend introduced me to him and he’s an alright guy. Anyhow, Ryder has recently started a website that as he puts it is “Currently documenting a global phenomenon.” The website is Cornholio.biz and I suggest checking it out. Hopefully this isn’t just me and my timeless obsession with Beavis & Butthead that finds this site incredibly hilarious.

You can send in your own pix of cornholioing to r@internetarchaeology.org. Now go find some TP for your bunghole.

The weekend isn’t over yet. Just sayin’. Major Lazer knows this.