“D’ya hear that fat turkey screamin’ at us back there? Hey, I’m talkin’ to you! D’ya year what that fat turkey was screamin’ when we jumped off the dais?”
Young Thurgood, riding in the passenger seat, put his cock back in his pants and acknowledged the question. “Huh? Oh, no, I didn’t hear fuckin’ nothing. Wait, which fat turkey you mean?”
“I’m talkin’ about Mayor Edta! Ya didn’t hear what he was screamin’ back there?!”
“Huh?! Nah! I tolejuh, I didn’t hear nothin’! Whyn’t ya just tell me!”
“Ooh, no need to be testy, is there?!”
Buckley Sangrio wasn’t used to seeing his compatriot in the throes of such aggravation, and they’d spent more than a couple years together. Truth be told, Buckley first met Young Thurgood when he was still known as Thurgood the Babe. Back in those days, Thurgood’d made a name for himself by ending every crime spree by murdering a milkman. It usually went down with him calmly cruising around the neighborhood surrounding the bank or saloon or whorehouse he’d pillaged until stumbling across a milkman. Then, he’d drink exactly three bottles of the now-deceased dairy-dealer’s wares: two milks and one cream.
Thurgood suckled milk like a babe.
And aside from his murderous tendencies, he was usually as pacified as a milk-gurgling baby. So in this moment of fleeing the scene of a crime, Buckley wasn’t exactly sure what to make of the disgruntled disposition in his passenger seat. They’d broken plenty of laws in their time together, but never before had Thurgood ever displayed the slightest iota of dissatisfaction. Buckley resolved to figure out what was going on.
“Hey there, ain’t never befo’ did I see such grumpiness from Young Thurgood. Hell, even Thurgood the Babe never wah-wah-wah’d for his Mummah! So what the hell’s gotten into you?”
“Goddamnit, you don’t answer me I’ma toss boot ass outta thissere car! See how much you like tryin’ to get away without a getaway car, you cookie-crumbler!”
Embarrassed but knowing Buckley Sangrio to be a man of his word, Thurgood pulled unzipped his fly.
“Hey, what’re ya doin!?”
“I’m showin’ you,” Thurgood pulled his cock through the slit in his pants, “why’m so damn ornery! Look right here!”
There was a wart. Not just any wart, but a cock-wart. And this cock-wart was one for the books. It was bulbous and dark and beginning to ooze what looked to be less of a pus, and more of an off-yellow phlegm. Moreover, this monumental cock-wart was pulsating, seething with heat on the off-beat of each blood-circulating heartbeat. It was gross.
If not impressive.
“Awh God!” Signor Sangrio exclaimed, “How long’ve you been carryin’ `round that l’il bugger?!”
“No fuckin’ clue!” Thurgood was frightened, on the verge of tears. “But I know that I just noticed it when we was back on that dais. As you was stealin’ a smooch from Mayor Edta’s daughter, I took on my sperm-slinger and started shakin’ it at the ambassadors! I was havin’ me a good time, too, until some greyhaired old bag pointed at it and shrieked, ‘My Lord! Sonny, you’ve got a wart on your penie!’”
“She called it a penie?”
“Devil as my witness, she called it a penie!’ At that point, I was absolutely stunned. It took my utmost concentration to get back to the task at hand – murder the old folks and take their wallets.” Thurgood began to gaze into the middle distance. “Got no fuckin’ clue what I would’ve done if that milkman hadn’t been right in front of our car…I may never have found the nerve to hunt one down.”
“Well then…” Buckley was upset for his friend, having never seen such a horrifying, magnificent genital growth. Still, he offered feeble consolation, “Next town we come across, we’ll rob ourselves a pharmacy and get you a salve.”
“So,” Thurgood began, perking up a bit, “what was it that the mayor was shoutin’?”
“Oh, nothin’ important…”
“C’mon, let’s hear it!”
“All right…” Buckley Sangrio took a drag from his cigarette and passed it over. “That fat turkey was shoutin’, ‘Stop the bastards! There they go! Those’re the two that hit the bank! And I think one of `em gave my wife genital warts!!’”
To read more nonsense written by Rendar Frankenstein, visit Omega-Level!