Valve has, to put it lightly, a very devoted and active fanbase. Over the holidays, there was a thread started in the Steam Forums where people posted Valved out lyrics to popular (and later not so popular) Christmas songs. Wanna bet a weighted companion cube that all of them ended up getting recorded? Because they did, and compiled into the album Goodbye Christmas Caroline. It’s like 25 fucking tracks!

Not only is there an album, but now there is a totally great music video for “This Is Aperture”, a Portal 2 flip on Nightmare Before Christmas standout “This Is Halloween.” It’s one of my favorite songs from Nightmare (I find myself humming it frequently… too frequently) and I gotta say it’s pretty fantastic in it’s GLaDOS/Wheatley/Cave Johnson version. Fuckin’ Valve fans man.

You really could not have written this dude better. The more I learn and see about Kim Schmitz, the currently incarcerated figurehead of MegaUpload (not to mention recently ousted #1 worldwide Modern Warfare 3 player), the more I think he really is the perfect internet hero. He’s like 4chan in massive human form, a true and incredibly troll who is currently trolling the planet basically. I love it.

Here’s a several year old video of what you do when you’re incredibly rich and still dress like Neo if he was sponsored by Ross. Though this was apparently for an MTV Asia show called Chiseen, I would like to think that Kim Schmitz just does shit like this on the regular, handing police comically large wads of cash when they try to intervene. Also, wow this dude is truly humongous. What an asshole. A giant, awesome asshole. Pause.

Via Kotaku

Ughhh why, why humans, would you create such a thing? Go away from me, demon silicone, begone with you to the negative zone! I banish you from my nightmares you frizzy haired, wide gummed demons with your band t-shirts and penance stares. Oh hey everyone! I was just talking to the subjects of this post. They’re hyperreal sculptural recreations of everyone’s favorite losers Beavis & Butt-Head.

Mike Jones pointed out that they look straight out of Gummo. I will happily cosign that assertion. The guy who did them, Kevin Kirkpatrick, does makeup effects for da moviez, including The Avengers. Perhaps these two will make a cameo in there, eh? Eh? Please?

Well, well, well, this is making me feel very confused in my britches. I was over at FlavorWire and saw they had an article up about an artist, Hippolyte Hentgen (great name, by the way), who’s forte is those classic 50s pinups, garters and all. Except her sexy ladies happen to also be terrifying mutants.

Cool idea, of course, but what really got me was this particular lass who is part Bettie Page and part Keep Watch. Guys and gals of the internet, meet “Merry Melody” she’ll haunt your darkest dreams and your sweetest nightmares.

I was in a bar the other night and “Break Stuff” came on, setting off a ranting discussion between everyone around me about the dubious merits or lack thereof of Limp Bizkit, and more importantly, the man, the gold cobra himself, Fred Durst. Like some sort of red-capped pied piper of date rape, Fred Durst captivated the nation for a brief moment, and the ptsd of his celebrity still lingers with children of the late 90s.

He’s somehow still around, directing family films (Longshots, whatup? Nothing. Nothing’s up.) and just generally being a d-bag. But a decidedly different kind than he was before. Anyway, long story medium, he’s currently in the midst of a 60 day juice cleanse, and tumbling about it hysterically (at least to me) here. I know this sounds weird, but I implore you to check it out. It’s very, very sad. He’s having trouble finding a good juicer. He cheated a couple days ago and ate a cookie. God this is good.

Oh shit,  stuntin’ on some baked goods right now y’all! Night Slugs label head Bok Bok brought this doughy creation to our attention over Twitter. Apparently the product of Vice writer Jo Fuertes Knight‘s sister, this Keep Watch cake is one of my favorite Мишка related arts-n-craftz I’ve seen in a minute. There was a Keep Watch cake a year back (along with some Мишка marzipan friends) for the Caked Up art show, but this fondant covered tasty treat looks like it jumped straight out of Adobe illustrator! I also seem to remember that at some point there were some Мишка cupcakes (right?).

I’m having visions of a Мишка bakery right now: eclairs stuffed with blood, Soviet Super Snickerdoodles, pentagram cookies, Cyco Simon’s cycoberry scones, Death Adder bear claws, Kill With Power baclava, Lobster Sweet Rolls, and Bozak donut holes. Perhaps some day. Some day…

Illustrator and Etsy Shopkeep John Woo (yes, the guy who directed Face/Off. Nah I’m just playing. That’d be cool though) is currently selling limited prints of his totally fantastic series of paintings, He Wears It, where he combines your favorite SciFi characters with the clothing of the high fashion designer who matches them best. After all, who of us doesn’t already associate Darth Vader with the modern tailored suiting of Band of Outsiders, or Jango Fett with the playful trad stylings of Rei Kawakubo’s more colorful Comme des Garcons pieces?

And look at Jar Jar! What’s that jacket, Margiela? Ohh shit, I went there, and instantly regret it. I’ve included some of my favorites, but hop over to the store to see a bunch more (including T-1000, Rambo, and Catwoman in Rick Owens) and if you’re feeling saucy you can even pick one up for yourself.

Via Flavorwire

This woman is some sort of sorceress or something. I’ve seen some pretty good makeup videos on YouTube before, but never before have I seen a pretty lass put so much effort into making herself into a shockingly good doppelganger for kid Canada Dry himself, Drake. This, folks, is exactly what the internet is for. The end result is truly a tad bit unsettling. You can also, if you wish, have a good laugh at how exaggerated Aubrey’s features are.

“I’m gonna thicken my eyebrows, about an inch” hahaha. Oh boy Drake it’s been a funny week for you hasn’t it? Getting clowned by this dude (pretty weakly, to be honest) was bad enough. The part about this video that makes me laugh the most though is that it’s actually a tutorial. So, hopefully, there is a legion of ladies at home right now turning themselves into Mr. OVO. So remember, if you see someone who looks like Drake on the street, it’s probably just a girl with a lot of free time on her hands.

Indie games often function as much as thought puzzles or abstract ideas as they do competitions or exercises in entertainment, and this quick and quirky collection of flash games based around some of your favorite torture-based Greek myths is no different. It’s not really a “game” per se, but it’s good for some laffz off the bat, and then will also tickle those little “what is a ‘game’ exactly?” centers of your inquisitive brain.

Let’s Play Ancient Greek Punishment (pretty straightforward title there guys) let’s you jump into the shoes – err, sandals – of kewl dudez like Prometheus, Sisyphus, and Tantalus. Ever wanted to relentlessly push a boulder up a hill over and over, never to reach the top? This is your game! Anyone? Anyone? LPAGP comes from a professor of computer game research, Pippin Barr.

Via io9

Hey look! Sports stuff! Though this may come from Chicago Blackhawks fan Frank Saracco, I think all us New Yorkers can appreciate it’s disdain (loving disdain, Philly fans. Relax) for the Flyers, especially after our epic victory at the Winter Classic. Better luck next time Briére, the 5 hole works a little better when the goalie stick isn’t fully covering it! Anyway, check out this mural that this dude made for his daughter. Bawww!

It’s all of the Blackhawks drawn as her favorite heroes like Batman, Thor, Lion-O, Shrek, and the dragon from How To Train Your Dragon (?). This girl is all over the place. The Flyers have been cast as Darth Vader, Wile E. Coyote (is he really evil per se? I guess so…), Maleficent, Skeletor, and Coach Laviolette is Stewie Griffin for maximum lolz. This is fun. I like this.

Via Puck Daddy