Besides being the best professional Hipster anyone could be, Nick Gazin AKA The Toilet Cobra is also one talented artist and not too shabby of a blogger if I do say so! Nick recently wrote and illustrated Vice’s Guide To Gift Givery for Nerds. Among the items Nick recommends is our Mariner Pea Coat. Unfortunately that coat is long sold-out, something I explained to Nick would be the case while he was compiling his list, sigh… But Nick listed it anyway and redrew it being worn by a Ninja Turtle so I’ll let it slide. Here Nick’s glowing recommendation:

If you are in college, then you’re probably really stupid and really wealthy, and as the winter months commence you’re going to get cold as hell. Jack Frost won’t be nipping just at your nose but also your nips. Also he will be gargling your balls and sexually humiliating you in other ways that are cold. Being not bright, you probably forgot to bring a coat with you to college. Every nerdo who thinks they’re different is going to be strolling down to the army surplus and buying the standard pea coat. One up the other collegiate cretins by getting something that won’t disintegrate before you’re done with higher learning. Mishka makes good, good cold-weather garments.

Thanks Nick! He also drew himself chilling on a couch with a stuffed R2D2 wearing a Keep Watch fitted and a Kodiak tee (also one of his paintings). Ever since we welcomed The Toilet Cobra into our lives and family I don’t think he can go five illustrations without someone wearing something of ours or Simon sneaking in there somewhere. I get the sense that it’ll be that way until we’re all in the grave.

Sports. My dad didn’t watch them, I got picked last for everything in gym and I threw like a girl until someone corrected me at thirteen. I promptly forgot the technique and instead rely on placing things delicately when I want to move an object.

Mikhail invited me to attend a hockey game between the NJ Devils and NY Islanders with him over in Newark and I said okay. My brother loves playing and watching the sport and I thought I might understand the mongo better if I took an interest in his shit.

Besides Mikhail and I, there was Mikhail’s fiance and Dennis Chow AKA Glamnation. As we walked to the hockey rink Dennis and I were usually next to each other with Mikhail and Kate in front. It kinda felt like riding in the backseat with your siblings while your parents are up front.

Dennis, Kate and I waited in line for twenty minutes to get ten dollar cheeseburgers and eight dollar Budweisers and I squirted Wicked Hot Devil Sauce all over my coat. We carried our salted food to our seats as Metallica’s “Seek & Destroy “boomed through the stadium. LCD flames spread across the digital displays that lined the edge of the seating tiers. Dennis and I were both blown away by the fun Hell we were now inhabiting. They were playing an awful lot of metal for a sporting event. They also blasted “You Could Be Mine”, “Blitzkrieg Bop”, and some Rob Zombie song. The part where the stadium appeared to be engulfed in digital flames took me aback. The name of the team is the Jersey Devils but the name references a mythical beast, not the biblical devil and I figured the team would try to avoid too many references to Hell or Satanism. I figure a lot of these sports fans are also probably Christian. There weren’t any other references to evil, devils or Hell during the course of the game but it made me wonder who makes the decisions on what’s too evil for the Devils? What kind of ideas have been offered that didn’t make it? Pentagrams? Corpse paint? Jumbotron animations of the Jersey Devils burning churches?

This is Dennis. The seating where we were was treacherously steep and these obnoxious fucking kids kept having to go back and forth so they could piss and buy more giant cokes or just run around. We had to get up for those little fucking jerks like fifty times. I was really tired and towards the end of the game Dennis almost fell when he tried to get past me. Fuck whoever designed stadiums this way. You’re probably occupying a place that looks like the Jersey Devils rink right now.

Hockey’s an amazing sport to watch. Huge dudes with sticks are gliding around the ice at high speeds with acute dexterity and grace. Then they bash each other against walls, beat the fuck out of each other in fist fights and execute complicated plays that require chess-like strategy. Meanwhile heavy metal blares and a big inflatable devil dances to Devil in A Blue Dress with some cheerleaders. I’ve mostly been to baseball games. Sweating in the hot sun, squinting to see the field, eating the shittiest food ever with the shittiest people ever. That’s baseball to me. You go to Yankees Stadium and the whole fucking shithole is an extension of the men’s room. I like it but it takes a few showers before I feel clean again. The Devils beat the Islanders six to one and it was pretty amazing. I hereby declare this sport “good.”

Here’s another thing that’s different from Yankees Stadium. These buildings directly face the stadium and they’re unoccupied. Everything around Yankees Stadium is covered in Yankees shit. Yankees clothes, Yankees bars, Yankees bowling.

Here’s me sitting on the foot of a giant silver hockey player that lives outside the stadium.

After this photo was taken I immediately beat those children to death. Get out of the hockey games, assholes. Either that or bring catheters. There should be a fucking penned in area for families.

Wrong, subway ad. My stash is sticking around. Like it or don’t. Thanks to Daddy Mikhail and Mommy Kate for taking me to the hockey game. Hooray!

Yesterday, Wiz Khalifa’s new album debuted at #1 on iTunes Hip Hop chart… Pretty big deal if you ask me. Later that evening however Wiz had his Deal or No Deal album release party here in New York.

When I got to the line it was damn long!  There were people from all over the tri-state, but Huntington, New Jersey was definitely in the building. A few people got kicked out of the line… I guess cause they couldn’t handle their alcohol and were acting up… Haha.  If the line wasn’t already bad enough, Highline was jam packed! I ran into Miguel and Ease while inside, grabbed some drinks and settled in to enjoy the show.

I was a little late, and missed Ninjasonik’s performance but still ran into Telli and Jah-Jah later anyways.

Trouble Andrew was on stage with some big ass skull mascot, looked pretty bad-ass.  I thought he gave a good performance..  I liked the sound and style of his music, although I’m not normally into that stuff.

I ran into Gill and her friend.  She was enjoying the show waiting to see Wiz perform.

Before Wiz hit the stage, Jasmine Solano (She’s a hottie) came on and performed with Ninjasonik’s Telli Michaels. And then after they finished, what everyone was anticipating… Wiz Khalifa!

He came out and the crowd got crazy!  Hands were in the air, drinks in the air, girls yellin, snappin pics, blunts were lit, it was epic.

During his performance, Wiz pulled some kid out of the audience who said he knew his freestyle lyrics and gave him the mic to sing them haha.  There were some dude and girls trying to get on stage, but security quickly booted them and basically threw them back into the crowd. I thought that was pretty funny. Overall it was a good night.  I had a few drinks and most definitely enjoyed the show.  Wiz gave one hell of a performance yet again & there was a lot of Мишка gear in the building too, which is always good to see.

I kept having to swab the steam off my camera lens due to Soulclap turning Glasslands into a real sweat lodge. The non-assholes of Brooklyn tuned in, turned out and dropped in and then fucked up my camera lens with their precipitations.

I’d been sitting in my work dungeon, which is adjacent to my sleep dungeon, writing record reviews or some other stupid thing when Vidiot asked me to come to Soulclap with him. Our friend Ana Lola Roman was one of the judges at this particular one. That’s her above. She’s a fun lady in a band that reminds me of Lene Lovich and I usually have no idea what the fuck she is talking about. I interviewed her one time and she kept giving oblique answers that made little sense to me. She has good goth taste and makes people talk to her hands, as evidenced above.

This is Jonathan Toubin, the DJ of the Soulclap parties. He DJs almost every day. It may surprise some people to know that “Toubin” is not the name he was born with but rather a name he picked up in his fraternity days. He was constantly missing class so he could go tubin’.

Who is this handsome man? Why, it is OJ from Golden Triangle. Take all the breathers you need to take, you have earned them. Golden Triangle’s new record is coming soon and it is great and I wrote the press release one sheet for it.

Charly, Patrick and Chris Teenrager barged in, adding to the fun goofiness. Shit really got swinging once Jesse and Karen from Fostercare arrived. It was swinging so hard it was swangin’.

Soulclap is a dance party and it is also a dance contest and also you win money. Ex Mishka intern, Reid Maidhof’s cousin is the reigning champion of the event. Someone’ll safety pin a number to you and when the contest begins you have to dance as best you can with ten other people. Then they have a second round in which the winners of the first round face off. I used to be healthy and able to dance in a state of super aerobic frenzy for half hour stretches. Now it’s hard to get through one song. That could be due to poor ventilation in either the building or in me. I took the photo of the judges after losing my round. How could I lose? I always win at stuff! Next time I will win.

The winners came back into the circle of dance for one final prance.

This happened.

This happened too. Lying on the floor of Glasslands is a bad idea if you want your white clothes to maintain their integrity.

Look at all that boppin’ n’ floppin’.

This guy told me about the advantages of shaving the sides of your head. You can more easily tuck your hair under your hat when you have to look professional, he claimed.

Alaina was there wearing this shirt. What a great shirt! We danced around and then she invited me and some others to an after-after party at Market Hotel called Mister Saturday Night. When we got there I spent a half hour talking about Achewood and orphanges with a guy who was pretty nerdy and had a piece of cord for a belt.

Alaina ordered us to vacate the nerd hutch and go dance. These ladies were there.

And so was this guy. You can’t take a bad photo of this guy. His smile lights up my life.

The party kept moving into smaller and smaller spaces. I like that. There’s no privacy to be had in New York. I need more forts in my life. Jonathan was there looking a lot like Kramer. He called us all n-words and Wale made a rap about it.

I talk about Mishka a whole lot as well as things I like to draw and where I am from.

Every neighborhood has these people in them. They’re like shadows, ghosts… we all know about them, but no one knows who they really are. A few months back Russel Fong shed some light on a character that everyone in Williamsburg is familiar with, but knew very little about. Laurence LaDouceur isn’t the only neighborhood character that I’m certain everyone recognizes, but knows little about. Anthony Delia is another one of the mysterious local celebrities whose known for his joy rides around Williamsburg singing at the top of his lungs to the Oldies station. Granted, Anthony isn’t quite the character study Laurence LaDouceur was/is, he’s still someone I’m sure anyone who’s ever lived or visited Williamsburg regularly has wondered “What is this guy’s deal?” to themselves at least once as he drove past you singing “Big Girls Don’t Cry”.

I hope Russel does the Bedford Ave. “performance artist” who dresses in nothing but underwear and rabbit ears soon… Or perhaps the Greenpoint Snugglebums will get that next spotlight?

It’s CMJ week in New York City and the good dudes of Impose Magazine have put together a battery of astounding parties at Don Pedros, which is just a few blocks away from 350 Broadway. Free Colt 45 at every party too. I’ll be on hand tonight bringing the live video mayhem for Ninjasonik, Mark De Nardo’s Graffiti Monsters, Starscreen, Nullsleep and whoever else they got. Don’t sleep on this!

October 20th through the 24th
Don Pedros
90 Manhattan Ave.
Brooklyn, NY

The crew from Wavves dropped by 350 Broadway for some gear and apparently a case of Colt 45? The band rocked packed houses at both Santo’s & Market Hotel this past week and are currently halfway through their US tour with Ganglians.

Go get their new album Wavvves and see them when they come by your town. Seriously one of the most fun acts I’ve seen live this year!

P.S. They have a pretty sweet Garfield tee they’re selling at their shows.

Мишка
350 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY

J/M/Z to Marcy Ave.
G to Broadway
L to Lorimer

Alright people, it doesn’t get much harder than this! No holds barred for 3 years of mega HEAVY BASS!

Trouble & Bass has been a staple in the NYC music dance scene for longer than 3 years; thanks to it’s founder Drop The Lime many people have been graced with sweat-box parties and pounding basslines. He has always been on the forefront of dance music and has contributed to spreading the UK-centric sound in the US owning it with his own whip-lashing style.

Over the time the army grew and currently the front-line is upheld by AC Slater, The Captain and Star Eyes. Check out their label for a roster of international artists making their and our family larger, heavier, unstoppable!

Saturday September 19th

FIXED and Scion present Trouble & Bass 3 Year Anniversary with your resident Trouble & Bass DJs (Drop the Lime, Star Eyes, The Captain & AC Slater) along w/ Special Guests:

Skream & Benga

Only 100 $12 Advanced Tickets will be available at Ticketweb, then the price jumps to $15.

Le Poisson Rouge
159 Bleecker St.
New York, NY
21+
Tickets: $18 at the Door

Before I was obsessed with Tim & Eric, there was Bob & David… actually I’m still just as obsessed with Mr. Show now as I was then.

The A.V. Club just posted a great interview with David Cross where he talks about his new book, his new stand-up tour, Alvin & the Chipmunks, a new BBC show, internet feuds and being seen as condescending. Not too much on Arrested Development or Amber Tamblyn though.