I hate all holidays except for Halloween and the Fourth of July.  Every other holiday mostly serves to make lonely people miserable and aggravate family stresses to the point where people are screaming at each other and throwing shit. I think that Christmas, Valentines Day and New Years Eve are all evil and wrong. Thanksgiving is a little bit of a fence sitter but it still makes people feel like shit.

Despite hating the holidays I do like the week after the holidays when all the candy is half off.  I was in a Rite Aid where I picked up a Snoopy Valentine that contained really bad peanut butter cups, a Hello Kitty valentine with chalky candy bracelets inside and a Barbie valentine with conversation hearts in it.  I actually like these godawful candies even though I know it is wrong.  These were weirder than the ones I was used to.  Half of the candies just said “OH BOY” but the others ranged from confusing to threatening.

I am supposing that these hearts were made by people in another country who got some old conversation hearts and English words which they then programmed into the machine that prints words onto candy hearts in a very computer-like font. I like to imagine little girls faxing each other or Barbie being so in love with someone that she is moved to fax him a very passionate letter.

I am not sure if the candy is saying that things are hopeless or encouraging you to hope less. Either way, grim.

I got dewy eye from putting my head in a litter box one time. That suckkkked.

These seem to be written by and for depressed people who sit around all day by themselves.

I will get you next time.

When?

Don’t leave.

Is timing romantic? So many of these seem to be about the past and the future. “What now?”, “Yes now”, “When?”, “Next time.” It’s like whoever was writing these just passed the portion of the English for Malaysians class where they taught how to refer to things existing in time.

De La Soul – Stakes is High

Pete Rock / J. Dilla – Niggaz Know

A Tribe called quest – Find a Way

Jaylib – Starz

Keith Murray – The Rhyme (Jay Dee Remix)

Puff Daddy ft RUN DMC, Mase, Salt & Pepa, Onyx and Keith Murray – Santa Baby Remix

Snoop Dogg – Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto

Kurtis Blow – Christmas Rapping (live on TOTP jan’80)

Eazy-E – Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas

Run DMC – Christmas In Hollis

We’re pretty big fans of Andrew W.K. round these parts so we were thrilled to here his recent trip to Viva Radio to perform live on the 67th installment of their Me+You sessions. Andrew wastes no time in celebrating this “High Holiday” weaving behind the piano in a very (to quote Viva Radio’s blog) Harry Nilsson singer-songwriter fashion.

This is a side most people aren’t probably used to hearing from the “Party Hard” rocker, but AWK is truly a consummate musician who rip anthemic rockers or just keep you entertained with his words and piano playing.

Hear the entire Andrew W.K. Me +You session here!

This news clip is surely on its way to becoming 2009’s year ender internet meme so let’s aid the push by sharing it with all of the creeps on the Bloglin!

A 4 year old from Tennessee was found drunk in the middle of the night wandering his neighborhood wearing a dress which he had stolen from under the Christmas tree of his neighbor’s house along with other presents. The boy’s mom explained his intentions as simply wanting to spend Christmas with dad in prison. Cute! Mom also said it was an honest mistake and she’s doing the best parenting job she can and that’s really all you can expect from somebody.

Below is an interview with the neighbors that were burglarized by the drunken 4 year old Grinch.

As soon as I sign into our Facebook account I am usually bombarded by comments and questions about the brand. Last night, some kid started to chat with me about Rage Against the Machine, and how I needed to support them. Wait, what? I mean I like RATM just as much as any other kid who grew up in the 90s, but was this kid messaging me from some small island or 3rd world country that was just getting into RATM? He then sent me a link to a facebook fan page, and it all started to make sense.

Rather than trying to explain it myself, I am going to post an entry direct from Wikipedia:

In December 2009, a campaign was launched on Facebook and Twitter by Jon and Tracy Morter to rebel against the commercialization of the UK music industry. The campaign seeks to generate publicity and try to take the track “Killing in the Name” to the coveted Christmas Number One slot in the UK Singles Chart, which has been dominated for four consecutive years from 2005 by winners from the popular TV show The X Factor.[46] As of 17th December the Facebook group membership stands at over 850,000, and has been acknowledged (and supported) by Tom Morello,[47] Dave Grohl,[48] Paul McCartney,[49] Fightstar,[50] NME, Terry Wogan, BBC 6 Music, John Lydon, Bill Bailey, BBC Radio 1, Demon FM, Enter Shikari, Hadouken!, The Prodigy, Stereophonics, Phoenix FM, Phantom FM, BBC Radio 5 Live, and even the 2004 X Factor winner Steve Brookstein[51], amongst numerous others.

On the morning of 17th December Rage Against The Machine played a slightly censored version of Killing In The Name live on Radio 5 Live, but four repeats of ‘Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ were aired before the song was pulled.

The entire concept is pretty amazing to me! What is also shocking is how big of a deal this seemingly is in the UK, but I haven’t heard a word of it in the US. Check out the interview and slightly censored performance by RATM on BBC 5 on December 17th.

Lets do it! Lets all make “Killing in the Name of” the #1 Christmas song in the UK.

I don’t know about you, but I feel nothing truly honors the birth of Christ like our sacrilegious imagery. Garret S. Bryant of Huntington, WV got into the Мишка spirit this year while decorating his Christmas tree. In addition to a skull adorning a shriner’s cap in place of a star, the tree has loads of eyeball ornaments amongst our Keep Watch and Bear Mop stickers.

Garret’s quintessential Mishkamas tree really makes me upset that we didn’t follow through on putting up a tree in 350 Broadway this year. Oh well, next year!

I hope in addition to getting real estate on the tree, some Мишка makes its way under it come Christmas morning!

I’m DJing the VBS/Vice Magazine Holiday Party this Tuesday. And not only that, but they’ll have a limited run Vice edition of 1800 Tequilla featuring my art on the label! I’ll be spinning before and after the bands. What bands you say? Why Cold Cave and Small Black.

Tuesday, December 15th 10pm-2am
Music Hall of Williamsburg
66 North 6th St.
Brooklyn, NY

You need to RSVP here if you want to get in!

Like John Prolly, my head has been exploded. Twice. BUT! For way less cool and/or adult reasons.

I posted a note a few months back about my affinity for Halloween-themed Dots. Those of you who took interest in that post may also remember that I made allusions to a certain nugget-packed gumball within…well. The world—as I know it—has changed for the better. I learned this in the past 24-hours.

First, as pictured above, Christmas Dots. Tootsie’s answer to the ubiquitous and phoney-baloney Christmas Corn. Christmas Dots look very much like Candy Corn Dots but there are two varieties packed into one box: Lime/Vanilla and Cherry/Vanilla.

All in all, taste-wise, I’d say these Christmas Dots sit somewhere between Bat Dots and Candy Corn Dots. Not a bad showing, but still no (regularly flavored, but still) Ghost Dots. Ghost Dots are the Yog Sothoth of Dot: They both know the gate and ARE the gate. So there.

In addition to this Holiday-themed candy frenzy, I was alerted to the existence of individually-for-sale batches of Nerds Gumballs. They are the booby-ball of gum. Easy, Attractive, and Portable. If you can find them, buy several packs, because nothing says ‘I’m awesome’ like a mouth overstuffed with a giant gray wad of sugar. Keep watch for a stray nerd! They’ve been known to break a tooth or two.

Home for Thanksgiving, pretty sweet so far.  First off let me say that I am Jewish, so there is no Christmas for my family…and Hanukkah ain’t what it used to be…so Thanksgiving is a pretty big deal for us.

I got home and got my first Thanksgiving present: Party Rats!  That’s right.  They are little plastic rats that strap onto your fingers and then light up different colors.  OK, simple enough premise, but the here is what it is advertised for:

Whether you’re dancing at a rave with a few hundred of your closest friends, or plugged in for some night blogging, Party Rats are the fun way to have fun.

NIGHT BLOGGING?  You gotta be fucking kidding me.  But I just want you to know that from now on when you see a post of mine you better BELIEVE that I will have these on my fingers.

Anyway, enough about Party Rats, how is YOUR Thanksgiving?  Getting pretty psyched over here.