
That is, up there, just past the image, what we in the business like to call an ‘alliterative gangster’ joke. I realize that it might be a bit too inside for the layperson, which is why I decided to be all-inclusive and sort of take a moment to explain it to you here. Just FYI. Not, of course, to be confused with an ‘alliterative chocolate soccer sleeping’ joke, which would go something like, ahem:
What To Kick The Kit Who Kats Cots
Just for reference.
And, while I’m teaching you something and giving you tips: I can do you one more.
Have you ever found yourself in a bind and at a loss for where to get the craziest, most inessentially awesome gifts for those folks in your life who have everything they could ever want (and more)? Well, assuming that you don’t lose hours of your life per month on Etsy, I can help with that. Go check out Partners & Spade. It’s got what you need, and it’s in NY. I found it—quite organically!—because the dudes at House linked to it for something, and I will do whatever those guys think is cool.

Now, watch, as I ‘buy gifts’ for some of my fellow Bloglin authors and other Mishka family members. My picks will be apt and astonishing, and it will make their alleged recipients sad that I am not a strillionaire, as, were I a strillionaire, it would probably be way easier to just buy them this shit than to imagine a scenario in which I would get it for them and then write about it to thousands of strangers during the high-spike traffic week for the site.
But. It’s the thought that counts. And hey: fellow authors I don’t know personally or haven’t had the requisite amount of direct interaction with in order to make a studied and radical pick? Please don’t be offended at being left off the post. That’s what next year is for. May more images and stuffs on the P&S site. Feel free to click through and see the magic happen in it’s native environment.
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For Twerps! (Greg)
Antique Wooden Figure
Antique Boy Figure with Hat. 25″ tall.
This creeps me out, and I don’t know why. So I immediately thought of Greg. What’s more, it’s huge…I’m wondering if Romy could fit in the weird torso area there and drive it around like Krang. Like Krang.
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For My Pal the Crook (Mikhail)
1948 Skull & Bones Yearbook
Skull & Bones yearbook from 1948. Including signed portrait of George H.W. Bush
This book is more or less a Necronomicon for our generation. Old but new; meaningless but important. It’s my contention that this is the domestic equivalent of ‘the nazi plate’. A freakish memento. A moon rock. So? Give it to the guy who—to me—embodies that sort of shit. Forget coolhunting. This is ghoulhunting. (Not to be confused with schoolhaunting).
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For John Prolly
Axes by Best Made Co.
Best Made Co. axes. Made by hand in NYC, sold exclusively at Partners & Spade. Selection varies by season
I know. I know. There’s a bike available for purchase on this site. And Prolly’s a bike dude. Easy, right? Well. You know what? I’m a ‘toy guy’ in some circles. To some people, that means giving me Mighty Muggs and Twilight action figures. Which is very nice, but, well, I know what I want, and I’ll get it for myself so you don’t roll your eyes at me when you don’t understand the difference between the one I want, and the one I don’t. Prolly is a burly dude who gets his metal on. So of course, I got him a handmade, hand-painted stick of glorious wood with some bitching sharp steel at the end of it. Swing, big boy.
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