It was tearing up his heart, literally! Ba-dum chhhhh! Well, not really. But if you feel gipped out of seeing the fat old dude from ‘N Sync get munched upon by Jaws, then the Syfy network has just the thing. I’ve just now become privy to the wonderment that is the trailer for Jersey Shore Shark Attack, the upcoming Syfy original movie that looks to continue their sterling resume, and features monsieur Fatone entering the stomach of a “white finned, killer albino shark”.
The albino kind of implies the white finned but… okay. Whatever gets us to the instant-classic line that serves as this article’s headline is fine with me. Though I do wish they had cobbled together all of the Jersey Shore kids to get dragged around the ocean a bit, the fact that they’ve conjured up Paul Sorvino and William “I obviously have mad bad investments” Atherton to make appearances. Also, let’s get an Oscar pronto to the dude at the end: “I hate shaaaaaaarks!” See it June 9th.
Last week we saw a teaser for director Franck Khalfoun’s take on the William Lustig classic Maniac, which made mannequins even weirder than they were before and established Tom Savini as the king of head splattering gore effects. Now, because apparently the studio has no sense of pacing for their marketing, we get a full length, very NSFW trailer for currently release-date-less film. Elijah Wood, taking over for Joe Spinelli, is certainly… uhh… doing his thing.
It’s definitely 100% confirmed now that the movie will be entirely in first person, which could be cool and could also make it unwatchable. I like Wood though (pause) and the film is written by the very talented Alexandre Aja, so I’m definitely willing to roll with this. They certainly seem to be ready to roll with the violence, as there’s plenty of scalping here of both the corporeal and plasticine variety. Plus Elijah Wood looking like he hasn’t slept in a week. There better be a shotgun blast though…
If you have been living in a cave/off the grid/under a rock since 2002 and have never heard of DJ Hell or International Deejay Gigolo Records, then you may have missed out on some of the most exciting music of the last ten years. Of all the music that came out on Gigolo (Zombie Nation, Detroit techno legend Jeff Mills, Fischerspooner, Miss Kittin & The Hacker), CROSSOVER stand out for their intense darkness. This influential electronic darkness has sent aftershocks so forceful they ripple into the current grave wave and witch house scenes.
Originally hailing from New York City, VEE & DEZ have worked in Berlin and are presently based in Los Angeles. Some fruits of their labor include extensive European tours, performing with NY’s legendary Suicide and an ongoing collaborative affair with Mater Suspiria Vision. CROSSOVER (now joined by 3rd member TLG) spent 2010 -2011 writing and recording the songs for the new album GLOOM and are thrilled to see it’s dawning in 2012. Me and Australian Witch House radio host Theway Peoplestare caught up with Crossover for a mind-blowing interview. Most importantly, CROSSOVER talks about their coveted fourth full-length album GLOOM (available now for pre-order from Desire Records France).
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TXTBK/Theway Peoplestare: Crossover. How did the name come about? Where did it come from and what does it mean?
Crossover: Hailz n thnx for the interest n svpport ov the CROSS. Also for this opportvnity for vs to spread the verb. We r from the other side ov the trax. We have alwayz been on the wrong side ov what ever side there waz. We r torch bearers for the ovtsider n the vnderdog. We have a morbid infatvation with death, the svper natvral, n the paranormal. CROSSOVER to the other side, to the unknown, the beyond realm, see what’s vnder the veil, look behind the cvrtain, jvst after the gate, and thrv the door. CROSSOVER is a synthesis ov esoteric existential absurdism. TVRN IT VPSIDE DOWN!
You have defined your sound as Gloom for years, now it has manifested as the new album title. What’s the significance there?
CROSS:GLOOM has finally become us. It had taken over and can now be defined. Cold, n grey – clovds n rain. Ovr wingz r big – we svrrovnd u. We have evolved from COZMIK to GLOOM to DARKBEAT!!!
GLOOM is coming out on Desire Records, alongside bands such as //TENSE//, Mass and Newclear Waves. How much does a label’s catalogue influence your decision to release with them? Why did you choose Desire? What goes into developing & maintaining a relationship with a record label? What do you look for in a record label?
CROSS: The aforementioned bandz rvle! We wanted to release ovr muzik with a handz on label that vnderstandz what we do. Desire have been nvthing bvt svpportive and that is what matters. Desire also has a very diverse roster which we think is important for it’s growth. One thing that we have fovnd thvs far is, vnlike other labels that r looking for the “next thing”, we get the sense that the label wants to have loyalty to their artists and develop long standing artistic n pro relationships with them. This is rare these dayz. We were intrigved with their approach with us and interested in the fact that they are a new an vp and cvming label.
You have been leaking tracks from a remix album in the works. What does collaborating bring to the GLOOM release and how do you know when a submitted remix has hit the aesthetic mark soundwise?
CROSS: Over the yearz we had no interest in collaborating. We wanted to make a clear statement with ovr sovnd, style, and ideology. Now after having been at for so long we felt that it waz time. We selected each artist for the RMX’s and in doing so we knew there wovld be no mistake. Not one one has been amiss. We have been so provd n honored with all their werk. A CROSSVER RMX needz to be trve to the artists own style, needz to be pvre in attack when considering the CROSSOVER sovnd, & mvst be dark, sad, n haunting. No one is a stranger to the melancholy. We think it is so beautifvl.
Other than the remix album, are there any collaborations in the pipeline?
CROSS: Ovr ongoing collaboration with Mater Suspiria Vision will bear more frvit in the cvming months.
GLOOM seems to exist in a surreal dream-world, almost like a trite black comedy. How do you transform parody into composition that resonates true sentiment of the human condition?
CROSS: With CROSSOVER there r 2 wvrldz, ovrz and the one everybody else exists in. We speak from both. We live and breathe this and in no way r ovr songz mere artistic abstractions. They may be in code and and gvised at times bvt, these r stories from ovr experience. Each wvrd, phrase, n verse reflects svmthing that has happened to us.
Tell us about the geometric symbol accompanying the GLOOM release?
CROSS: This is the CROSSOVER Symbol, we developed it over the past 2 yearz while writing and recording the songz for GLOOM. It’s real name and meaning r soon to be revealed. We r in the process ov finishing a book which will go into detail abovt it’s properties and potential. It is a magical 7 pointed diagram that from now vntil the end ov time will be associated with CROSSOVER and ovr werk: sovnd, style, n ideology – The M/T.A. The W.L.F., & The OxOxTxBxHxMx! At first glance it’s a dovble pentagram ~ twice the eevil! It’s the badge ov Gloom that wear close to ovr hearts. LOVE / 616 / EVOL / F / GOD / 73 / DOGS / STARS / I / RATS / SENEX / SEX / MAGIC / 6 / SLUT / LUST / 77 / 333 / I 6 9 F / 11:34
I still run into people who are obsessed with the International Deejay Gigolos releases (“OMG, I LOVE Phostographt!!”). How was it to be on Gigolo during the electro heyday and how did you hook up with DJ Hell?
CROSS: It waz a fvckin’ blast and a lot ov werk! Ovr albvm Fantasmo waz already ovt a year before it’s release in 2002 and waz making it’s way in the NYC UG. The Limelight saw it’s re-opening n Hell waz playin’ records. V & I went to check it ovt. We approached him in the DJ booth and handed him a copy. A week later he called and it waz done. 3 Months later, debvt dovble LP & CD n we were off on tovr all over the EU. V & I had never been ina band before and we sold 20,000 copies on paper. Not bad for a covple ov kidz. Hell introdvced ovr muzik to Europe by playing Lady Dragon Slayer in his sets which for the electro/techno scene waza head fvk.
Tell us about your memories of the first ever live Crossover show.
CROSS: Ovr first show waz in at the WMF Clvb in Berlin dvring the Love Parade weekend.We had cvm from Jvpiter, Florida where we decided to hide ovt, rehearse and get prepared for tovr.
Once on the EU shores it waz a whirlwind. We played with Hell and opened for Fischerspooner. On the eve ov ovr show we were at a gallery opening party that label had pvt on and V and I were qvite nervous. We held vp ina corner and were anxious to get to sovnd check. Hell and the label manager came over to say hi and see how we were doin’. We told them we had never performed before so we were a lil on edge.
Hell smiled and said, “no, bvt really, u gvyz have done gigz arovnd NYC right?” We said “uh, no, really we haven’t” with a lil giggle. He lavghed, while the label managers jaw dropped and looked like he had seen a ghost. We were then whisked off to sovndcheck ina black BMW. We went on at 2:00 AM to a packed haus and it went withovt a hitch. I will never forget how it felt to step onto the stage for that first time. We covldn’t see a thing cvz ov the fog machine bvt as soon as the avdience cavght a glimpse ov us they went nutz. Everyone waz so welcoming and xcited.
I know a lot of people want to see you guys perform live. Are there touring plans in the future?
CROSS: Yes, all we wanna do is tovr! We r gathering eqviptment and rehearsing. It has been qviet svmtime so, it will be a retvrn to the stage ina way. We r werkin’ with light n visvalz and will bring all the CROSSOVER Regaila with us. We will perform songz from all 4 albvmz and also new stvff!
How do you look back on the early releases compared to GLOOM? Give us some insight into the evolution of Crossover?
CROSS: We have a master plan and have taken steps with each albvm to progress towardz ovr vltimate goal. We constantly take in new places, thingz, muzik, movies, art, boox, natvre, cities then pvt all ovr experience into ovr muzik n artwerk. For vs it so xciting to kno there is always svmthing that we have yet to discover that we can obsess over and draw inspiration from.
Jvst when one thinx they have seen and heard it all, svmthing amazing new or old sparx ovr interest and we sap it. So in this way we r alwayz evolving and becoming. We think ovr sovnd get’s heavier, dirtier, and more raw eventho ovr prodvction skillz greaten.
William Lustig’s Maniac (1980) is one of the sleaziest NYC movies ever made. Starring the almighty Joe Spinell (Last Horror Film, Cruising, Nighthawks, too many classics to name) as tortured serial killer scalper Frank Zito, Maniac is a landmark of ’80s gritty NYC indie-cinema. It’s like a NYC giallo on PCP. The chilling final scene is as hauntingly sympathetic as they come and it’s important to note that Lustig and Tom Savini used a real shotgun without a permit to pull off the legendary head-through-the-windshield scene. Hands-down, it’s a brutal, intelligent classic.
And now it’s been remade by director Franck Khalfoun, starring the mirror opposite of Joe Spinnell: Elijah Wood. Original reports stated that the entire remake would be first-person, through Frank’s eyes, and this alluring Cannes teaser reinforces that approach. The above teaser is gleefully voyeuristic, racy, and violent – and overall really promising. I think Elijah has a lot of untapped range pent up in his miniscule frame so it’s going to be fun to see him get his hands dirty. Very dirty.
Like a cockroach struggling to climb out of a toilet, Playback never reaches the top of the bowl. Michael A Nickles‘ film nearly manages to be a decent thriller, a decent horror movie, and a decent teen slasher, but looses its hold and drowns in implausible plot developments and sequences that are nonsensical even for a low-budget gore film. Playback does have some positive things going for it and it’s a perfect pick for a rainy Sunday evening while you’re waiting for Thrones to come on, but it’s sadly an all together forgettable film.
Aspiring filmmaker Julian (Johnny Pacar) is working on a project about some infamous murders that occurred in his small town back in 1994. He quickly discovers that his police lieutenant mother is covering something up and that the house where the murders took place is still standing. He also learns there was a baby found at the scene and that the guy who committed the wretched murders was a descendant of Louis Le Prince, the man who many argue is the true father of filmmaking. He’s a real guy, and his “Roundhay Garden Scene” is the oldest surviving motion picture.
Not only is the “Roundhay Garden Scene” historically significant, it also possesses anyone who watches it because Le Prince was actually the Devil! Didn’t see that coming, did you?! Julian’s gas-huffing acquaintance Quinn works at a local TV station and watches Le Prince’s film while doing research for Julian. He becomes instantly possessed. The rules of possession in Playback are baffling. Quinn can take control of other people, use them to do his dirt, but he has to be two floors above or below them. He can also possess through cameras and TVs, I think. What starts out as a fun, teen hijinks horror movie quickly gets bogged down in goofy possession nonsense.
There are some diamonds in the toilet though. The editing is top-notch and honestly saves Playback from being wholly unwatchable. It’s paced well and shot with skill. I was worried during the opening that a majority of the film would be found-footage style, but there’s hardly any of that. Phew. The acting isn’t terrible either. I would watch 90 minutes of Alessandra Torresani doing her taxes if given the chance. Christian Slater gets a small role as a pervert cop who diddles himself to footage of the girls’ locker room, shot on the down low by Quinn. His role amounts to nothing more than “Oh hey, it’s Christian Slater” and it gave them a recognizable name to put on the DVD cover.
I don’t want to sound too harsh. Playback is fun to watch, and like I said, it’s a perfect Sunday afternoon movie. I actually enjoyed the moments of the teens hanging out being all cliche more than the actual “scary” parts. This sort of death-by-video has been done better before (even Playback cites The Ring) but it’s probably been done worse too. So if you’re stumped next time you’re at the Red Box or on Netflix, give Playback a shot. That way if someone ever asks “Whatever happened to Christian Slater?” you’ll be the most knowledgeable person in the room.
Playback is available now on DVD and Blu-ray from Magnet. The disc includes a couple behind the scenes features, which include actual insight into the film, rather than being glorified promos like most behind the scenes are nowadays.
The metaphysical horror comedy novel John Dies at the End is a gonzo mash-up of Stephen King and William Burroughs that’s overflowing with creativity and gleeful weirdness. For his adaptation, Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, Bubba Ho-Tep) manages to cram as much of the novel’s key plot points and batshit insanity into 90 minutes as possible. The result is a relentless blast of humor and gore that’s destined for cult classic status, but not without its share of hiccups. The good far outweighs the bad though, and it’s safe to say that John is going to leave fans rabid for more adventures with inexplicable mind-altering drugs and inter-dimensional leech creatures.
The film’s brief prologue sets the tone for the playfulness, philosophical excursions, and horror comedy that follows. The vignette delivers a macabre riddle about killing a man two times with the same axe. It might be my favorite part of the movie. Then we’re introduced to David Wong (Chase Williamson), our protagonist and narrator, who is sitting in a dark Chinese restaurant, telling his unbelievable tale to a reporter (Paul Giamatti). The narrative frequently jumps back and forth through time and it could be easy to lose track of when the events are taking place. David’s story is long and twisting, but the bulk of it involves his best friend John (Rob Mayes) and their search for the origin and source of a powerful drug known as “soy sauce.” The sauce heightens perception and unlocks gateways in your mind. It’s like a telescope for your third eye!
At a party one night, John is given soy sauce by a mysterious Jamaican. Earlier, this same Jamaican read David’s mind and told him what he dreamed of the night before. David brushes the encounter off, but early the next morning he gets a phone call from a delirious John and after he swings by to take John to the ER, the two are picked up by the cops for the brutal murder of the Jamaican and several of the other party-goers. David is able to escape custody from a phone call by John, who continues to call him several times despite the fact that he might be dead.
From there the plot continues its barrage of supernatural weirdness and creature set-pieces – teetering on the brink of near-incoherence. We meet characters like the one-handed Amy, her dog Bark Lee, and a Vegas-style mystic named Albert Marconi (Clancy Brown – KURGAN!). They aid David and John as they pass through different dimensions in an attempt to find the root of the soy sauce and prevent an other-worldy invasion. These supporting characters, especially Marconi, feel clumsily placed in the film. There’s a scene in which Marconi explains to David and John how to cross to the other dimension that’s incredibly awkward. And Amy, who has a much larger role in the book, falls flat in the film as David’s love interest. Giamatti, who also helped produce the film, is fantastic as always.
At times, the pacing and editing feel just as awkward as the supporting characters. The confrontation with the other dimension’s supreme being is terribly anticlimactic and fizzles out right when you’d expect an attempt at suspense. There’s no time to celebrate before it’s a quick cut to another weird set-piece. It’s frustrating because there’s so much to enjoy in John, but Don doesn’t give us any time to soak it in. Individual scenes act well on their own, but as a whole it’s kind of a narrative shamble.
Every review I’ve read of John has panned its special effects, calling them “laughable” and comparable to SyFy Channel originals. I can see why, but I think it’s completely unfair to do so. This isn’t a big budget film – having seamless CGI wasn’t possible for Don and his crew. But they do make the best of what funds they have and we should all applaud them for being brave enough to go practical on many of the creatures. The day you’re too cool to enjoy a giant meat man with sausage fingers is the day you should give up.
For all of its faults, John stands as an utterly ballsy breath of fresh air. Zealous fans of the book are going to salivate over this film and use it as a friendship litmus test. Newcomers to Wong’s wacky world might be left with their head spinning, but wanting more. With a second novel, This Book Is Full of Spiders, set for this October, here’s hoping Don gets to revisit the series.
John Dies at the End just played the Florida Film Festival and Boston Underground Film Fest. No date has been set for a wide release.
You don’t need to be a fan of Joss Whedon – or, a Whedonite as his diehards are terribly named – to know that his output is wildly smart. The man knows how to play with genre tropes without rubbing how clever he is in our face. Nevertheless, after hearing repeatedly about how innovative The Cabin in the Woods is, I was afraid that it was going to be overly self-conscious like the Scream series and be a massive wink and nudge at how clever Whedon and director Drew Goddard are. Thankfully that’s not the case and Cabin manages to be immensely entertaining without any third act twists. From the first frame Whedon and Goddard slowly feed us information so by the end, you don’t feel duped by a left field twist.
I’m not going to over-hype it though. I’ve read a lot of hyperbole in other reviews – terms like “game-changing” and “brilliant,” other critics declaring that Whedon and Goddard have “revived” the horror genre. If that’s the case, every subsequent horror film is going to have to upstage Cabin, be smarter and more clever than it or risk sucking balls. Let’s just say that Cabin is exceptionally thrilling, funny, and unconventional. It’s not going to change your life but you’ll have a fun ride.
I do agree with other critics on one aspect of Cabin: the less you know the better. I can tell you that five not-so archetypal college kids head to a cabin in the woods. They swim. They party. Things go haywire and horrific things go down. But all of this secrecy begged for by Whedon and Lionsgate has me worried. I fear it’s going to build people’s expectations of a gigantic reveal to a boiling point. Cabin isn’t built around some Keyser Söze-level twist or floppy Crying Game penis. It’s structured with parallel narratives that meet at some point. Nothing innovative or brilliant about that.
What is remarkably clever is the motive behind what plays out in the cabin. It’s a series of events we’ve seen countless times in horror films: naive college kids illogically set-off an unspeakable chain of events that ends in slaughter. But what Whedon and director Goddard do is turn things inside-out so that the characters’ actions makes sense. You know the old moronic “we should split up” choice always made in horror movies? There’s a logical reason it happens in the heightened reality of Cabin.
The ensemble is terrific, especially Fran Kranz as stoner-conspiracy theorist Marty. He’s the voice of reason in the group and managed to pull the most laughs from the audience. Mainly because people LOVE weed jokes. Not even jokes, per se. Someone can just casually slight up a joint in a movie and people crack up. The rest of the kids, including Thor himself Chris Hemsworth, are great, but the best acting comes out of Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford as 9-5 office workers. That’s all I can say about that.
Absolutely go see The Cabin in the Woods in theaters. Bring as many people as you can. Go get drinks after and talk about all the crazy shit you just saw. You’ll have a blast as long as you aren’t expecting to have your mind blown. Cabin hits theaters this Friday.
Battle Recent Mutant Horror is the particularly unwieldy title I would bestow upon this Choice Is Yours. Will I catch some flack for putting up a pretty weird CIY? Perhaps, but then again I am the same human who did an Eerie, IN vs American Gothic so I guess this is just the life I’m gonna live now. Oh right, mutants. I love both these movies. They’re both super underrated, underseen, and neither director has made another flick that slapped as hard since. No lies: I like the Hills Have Eyes remake more than the original.
Swag me out with controversy. I went to see that shitty movie 16 Blocks and it was so shitty I just went straight into Hills afterwards hoping it would redeem film for me and it more than delivered. Holy crap this movie is brutal. Unrelenting violence and mutation out the wazoo. A lot of people are on Alexandre Aja’s French nutz over his overrated Haute Tension but Hills makes that messy flick look like the buckets of viscera spilled in this one. The sepia-tone lookin ass flick is krazy to the max and also features the guy who plays Buffalo Bill getting his arm cut off and then burned on a tree. Oscar!
Wrong Turn 2 also vastly (like… so much) improves on the original, and was a helluva coming out party for Troma associate Joe Lynch. This movie is hilarious AND gross. Just like mutants. There’s also a (spoiler alert) great moment when the girl you think is the protagonist gets her head totally cleaved in twain by a flying axe. Surprises! Also Henry Rollins. So much Henry Rollins. Both these flicks proved that mutant horror is anything but dead (and cannibalized). But you know how this works. The choice is yours…
Gather round. I wanna tell you about a YouTube titan, and conspiracy theory legend. TheIndustryExposed is that dude. His video series is on part 79! I have personally been following his work for many years. He has provided light on the subjects of the music business, and entertainment industry as a whole, concerning hidden messages, the occult, magic, and subliminal.
He references very specific examples, and glady spends more than enough time explaining how artists are involved, and/or indoctrinated into the illuminati for example. In the episode above, number 77, he delves into transhumanism, and Ray Kurzweil, one of the leading expects on the subject. This is basically the science of combining robots and humans. His work also brings to mind Lenon Honor, another YouTube living legend. Enjoy.
