Chalk this one up to crazy ideas only twelve year olds and psychotics have, but some dude has finally made a “taser sword”. A taser sword—as demonstrated by dude in this clip—is two Klingon looking swords bolted together with a wild electrical charge running through it, for the simultaneous stabbing and electrocuting. A sadist’s wettest dream come true.

Really feeling like this has to come from a dude that’s either really worried about the zombie apocalypse or a doomsday prepper. One of those cats that’s real upset about 2nd Amendment rights and figured he could juke the system by making some sci fi, post apocalyptic weaponry the government hasn’t had a chance to legislate yet.  I’m glad guys like this are around, sometimes it takes insane motherfuckers in their basement welding together swords to really push the arts forward.

Ever wonder which of your Facebook friends is DTF? With the popular Facebook app, “Bang With Friends” you can. Yes, there is actually an app that tells you which of your Facebook friends wants to do you. Sure this is a catalyst in some ways, to people getting “banged”, which is desirable—depending on the quality of the “bang”. Mostly though, it’s really fucking weird. Sometimes the Internet gets a little too personal.

Not only can you find out who exactly wants to “bang” you, but a new option to “hang” with friends is surfacing. Why do you need to find out who wants to hang out with you, if you already know your Facebook friends? They’re your “friends”, shouldn’t they all want to “hang”? The founders say it’s not a way to “purify” our society by traditionally dating someone before you “bang” them. According to them, it’s a way to expand the app. This app feels like it’s simply a dating platform like E-Harmony or J-Date for a younger generation. Or, more accurately, a “banging” platform.

As if this app wasn’t intrusive enough, they even procure a score for you based on how many views your profile receives. But what about the people who get minimal views? A river of tears will be shed by those that don’t score high enough. But, see for yourself, maybe you’ll find a really hot guy/girl who’ll end up being a keeper. It’s the Internet, stranger things have happened.

Holy Shit! 4 Police vans full to brimming with riot cops decked out with M4s and 9mm pistols. 3 helicopters also full of a mix of cops and FBI agents. Multiple teams of attack dogs. And one fat guy named Kim Dotcom, awaiting his fate hidden in the secret Red Room. God damn, someone please make a movie of the raid on the Megaupload founder Dotcom’s New Zealand mansion. It’s an event that’s entered myth and legend since its occurrence in late January.

But now, in a boon that I certainly did not expect, loads of footage from the raid itself has just been released online. It looks like an action movie. Amazing! Watch as a helicopter does a speedy landing in the middle of his driveway, as shock trooper pour out of it and burst through the front door. Get a tour of the house from Dotcom’s head of security, from secret rooms to alert systems and more. Plus get testimony from Kim himself about his abuse at the hands of his arresters. Free Kim Dotcom!

Hey, people with a lingering sense hope for the future, I have someone I’d like to introduce you to. Her name is Mindy Meyer, she’s from Flatbush, and she’s running for New York State Senate to the tune of “I’m Sexy And I Know It.” No really, that goddamn bassline is playing ad-infinitum on her homepage right now, go look, I dare you. She also claims to be the first young woman in state history to run for the office, which, I’m sure is going to go over just fine with the eleven women who are, I don’t know, currently New York Senators. And that’s not all, oh no.

In addition to sounding like the sound of your optimism being stabbed to death in an alley, her website looks like it was designed by someone whose last job was either creating Myspace graphics or Angelfire layouts. Shockingly, her “on the issues” page is legible, but that means she’s either a gimmick or rich enough to hire an actual PR guy, so whatever. What’s actually brain melting about this whole deal is that there are people who have gone on record endorsing her and… wait, where’d that flask come from?  ”Doomed” isn’t a place, and you can stop saying it already, I heard you the first time. You know what, fuck it, give me a swig. If Michelle Bachmann can win national office, anything can happen.

Dog shows, especially Westminster, are a ridiculous enough spectacle sober. I mean really, it’s a bunch of dog lovers crowding one of the most famous stadiums in the world to take part in what is essentially, a competition to determine genetic superiority. For fuck’s sake, one of the judge’s core responsibilities  is canine genital examination.

Now, imagine interviewing one of those types who make the cast of Best In Show look like well-adjusted individuals while the walls are breathing, the ceiling is swirling and the thing actually responding to your questions ins’t the owner, but the adorable puppy in their arms. That pretty much sums up Brayden’s experience at the Westminster Dog Show after the Vice Shorties team gave him a tab and sicced him on an unsuspecting Madison Square Garden crowd. Hilarity ensued, especially when one interviewee schooled the acid-addled “reporter” on the difference between dog and cat shows. There’s a writeup and a bunch of photos to go with the video, so click your way over to Vice’s website to check out the whole event.

Six year old rapper Albert is balling at stratospheric levels compared to the rest of us mere mortals. When I was in the early stages of elementary school, I barely comprehended tying my shoes, much less making it rain on dem hos, but this kid’s got game five times his age.

Geared up like the pint-sized avatar of the Based God, Bishop Don Juan and LL Cool J combined, Albert goes in poolside in his debut video for “Booty Pop,” swaggin on the ladies with the finest dance moves since Lil’ B took us to the kitchen. Twerk to this or get super soaked.

They say the truth is stranger than fiction. But sometimes, the truth makes fiction look like a pussy ass little bitch that’s afraid to take risks and is about as weird as a grilled cheese sandwich or Blake Shelton. The true story behind the new movie Compliance is one of those times. I remember (as many of you probably do) this incident occuring for real back in 2004, and the movie is getting intense buzz, both good and bad. Apparently there have been some walk outs due to its intensity.

That’s easy to understand when you reacquaint yourself with the details: a man called into a McDonalds claiming to be a police officer, though with no credentialys beyond an assertion of authority, and essentially cajoled a female manager, as well as several other employees and the manager’s fiancee, into kidnapping and abusing a completely innocent female employee, supposedly under the auspices of an accused robbery. A prank caller. In a completely open McDonalds. Da fuck. Looking forward to this and the upcoming Imposter (where *SPOILER ALERT* a middle aged Frenchman convinces an American family that he’s their kidnapped adolescent son) for a “I don’t want to live on this earth anymore” documentary double feature.

This is pretty stupid and kind of awesome all at the same time. I think it’s just a color printer pic of Danny Brown attached to a put of Wheatgrass for $35. I like the description too:

Perfect Danny Brown plant for your dorm room or bachelor pad or recreated Workaholics set in your grandparent’s basement.

Hopefully you’re stoned and armed with a credit card. Go on get it! You can regret it later. :)

Every now and again, something happens during a rap battle that totally defies explanation and entrenches itself in viral videodom forever.  Usually, it’s somebody getting punched in the face.  This time, however, things are even weirder than a random snuffing. There was a lot of hype swirling around the King of the Dot hosted Vendetta, especially when it came to Canibus and his headlining battle against Dizaster.

Showing up with his arm in a sling, the grizzled spitter held his own through the first two rounds, but when the third frame came along, things came unhinged.  Explaining to the crowd that “he’s never been a good freestyler,” the twenty year vet pulled out a notebook of “thirty pages of rhymes” and read his last set of bars to a chorus of boos from the packed house. (meltdown starts around the 35 minute mark)

Had things stopped there, it would’ve been an embarrassing, but not unheard-of footnote in the annals of hip hop history. But rather than releasing a simple apology, waiting for the heat to die down or both, Canibus took it to Tumblr (why he even has one is another question entirely) and issued a rambling explanation for the battle that placed the blame squarely on getting abducted by nameless “dark agents.”  Really.  Yes, I’m serious.  Still don’t believe me?

A few days before the KOTD Vendetta event, I was abducted by human blood sucking leeches who did not make their identity known, but I assume were agents of the dark world. While in my vehicle ready to pay for a toll, a helicopter attached with a satellite device that promotes fear flew directly over me…

The whole thing is here, and it’s spent the afternoon spreading around the internet the way only something this absurd can.  I know ‘Bus is a weird dude and all, and he’s already gotten in hot water once recently for taking shots at J. Cole for essentially no reason (and apologizing just as quickly), but this is some next level shit, even for him.  I honestly hope this is just a joke gone bad, or some of the most elaborate trolling I’ve ever seen, because if not, that level of delusion is pretty sad.

I was searching around on the internet today when I stumbled upon one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. Krispy Kreme and Moneymaker Mike’s video “Hater’s Wanna Be Me” popped on my facebook feed and I just about died laughing.

Every single line this kids raps is highly quotable and me and my friends will for sure watch too many times.

His country accent and the way he raps is hilarious and this guy has a funny sense of humor saying things like,”Everybody gets scared when I front flip”, and “I could beat every single person in jail”.I definitely can’t wait til Krispy drops a mixtape.

I’m not even sure if the kid is serious or not but all I know is he’s funny a hell and cant wait til they drop another video. Thank you youtube for putting me on this interweb gem!!! Tosh.0 here they come.