Well we’re back from Tokyo now but there are still some more images to show you from our trip. If you missed the first two installments head over here and here. All of these pics are from my Girlfriends camera and mostly document much of our side diversions while in Tokyo over the past week or so.

Up above is an outtake from an FLJ Magazine shoot we did in the shop, where they had Prolly, Greg, Lamour, the Tokyo store staff and myself all pile into the shop’s window display.

This up above is the much fabled used panties vending machines of Tokyo. I’ve been going to Tokyo for over a decade now and had never, ever seen these. Sure I had heard about them…EVERYONE has heard about them. And anytime I come back from Japan someone undoubtedly asks about them and I say “Those don’t actually exist”. Oh but how wrong I was!

To my understanding these were something that sprouted up in the 90s and were quickly done away with…but the stories about them spread and continued to live on long after their demise to the western world. I think most people outside of Japan just assumed these sorts of machines lined the streets sprinkled amongst the many vending machines offering soda, candy, coffee and beer. Unfortunately for the tourists who like to point and giggle, they do not…but they do however exist.  Snopes has a good chronology on the urban legend of these machines if you’re interested.

We discovered these while in Akihabara AKA “Electric Town” Akihabara is an area of Tokyo known mostly for it’s electronic and gadget shops but there are also a fair number of Cosplay maid cafe’s, video game dealers, toy stores and adult video and book stores. We hit up one of these adult stores which was actually a 6 or 7 story megaplex. Tucked away in a barren corner of the shop where these vending machines selling the much fabled school girl panties for about $10 – $20 a pair. There was even basket full plenty of disposed capsules near the machines in teh event you couldn’t wait ’till you got home to see what you got. But that wasn’t the only thing we found…

Yes these are exactly what they look like, child sex dolls made of rubber. We found these on the very top floor of the adult megaplex. They were set up in this charming window display showing the different options/ages of sex dolls available for purchase. I’m not really sure of the prices these were retailing for but I have some strange suspicion that based on the signs that you could actually rent one of these if you wanted to. I don’t know what’s creepier, these existing or someone renting one after it’s already been used.

(more…)

Harvey Levin of TMZ approaches serious topics with Lil Jon from Lil Wayne’s dental problems, Obama to the meaning of skeet skeet all peppered by a slew of chuckles and randomness and some classic Lil Jon moments… all while sportin’ our Bad Luck sweater!

BTW: there’s an awkward initial minute and a half of nothing in the video… hold tight!

Also heck out this recent cover shot for Skinnie magazine, BASS MOSH all the way!

I almost promised myself I wouldn’t post this but it’s early in the morning right now and I’m making poor choices. The newest leak from Cam and DJ Drama’s upcoming mixtape Boss Of All Bosses 2.5 is a tribute to everybody’s transit beat down meme. Listen:

If there is some strange reason you want to keep this song forever then download it here.

*BONUS* Feel free to vote for my first and last LOLCAT.

Has anyone tried watching The WWE recently? Is it me or has it slowly mutated into recruitment propaganda for the Marines? It’s amazing that this thing is still going on! Why are they even trying? There’s nothing in the world that could touch the golden era of the WWF (circa 1985-1990) — not movies, not cartoons, music, comic books, NADA. We fell into a bit of a renaissance with The Rock, Goldberg, Triple H, Stone Cold, et al. But man, the spectacle of the golden age was our generation’s Vaudeville. This was EPIC drama with Meth-addled Barbers, Loud mouthed Scotsmen, Weasels, Pimps, Hitmen, Giants, Hacksaws, Hammers, Commies and Snakes! Now that the best is behind us from the House McMahon, it’s evident that one Swatch sunglassed, sequened robe rockin’, feathered haired man stands as the Greatest Wrestler of All Time.

MACHO MAN Randy Savage.

Come join me in this retrospective in OH YEAH!

Early Years – You can see the impetus of a schtick which will eventually explode into the luminous nebula of Macho Madness!

In my pre-teens, I was partial to Hogan and later Ultimate Warrior — the former being a horrible wrestler with inspiring charisma, the latter being just what a young hessian needed. I loathed Macho Man back in the day!!! That sleazy, scary, abusive, arrogant, rude and crude cretin!!! It would be years until I realized that these very same qualities are what add to his legend of the WWF’s G.O.A.T. Savage owned it all! The charisma, the acrobatics, the gimmick, catch phrase, overall steez, and man oh man, could that dude improv in a promo!

I like to fantasize about Macho snorting a huge rail of coke in the Gold’s Gym locker room with Hogan when he came up with his infamous “OH YEAH!” catchphrase. His Intercontinental Champion era was his finest if you ask me. He jumped the shark as the Macho King with Scary Sheri!

A Goldmine of Macho

It’s no revelation to speak of his rivalry with Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat yielding the most amazing WWF match in history. Now, if you were like me you were down with Team Steamboat and those Chinese Stars and Tiger Claws stuck in your backyard tree were indicative of that. But looking back, Steamboat is such a herb!

(more…)

Fat Joe – Eastern Motors

MC Hammer – British Knights

Kanye West – Absolut Vodka

Kurtis Blow – Sprite

Notorious B.I.G. – St. Ides

The plot thickens! Here’s a video of Beetlejuice (as we’ve dubbed him) AKA Michael on Wild 94.9 giving his side of the events from last week’s epic bus beatdown with Tom “Tom Slick” Burso AKA Epic Beard Man AKA I AM A MOTHERFUCKER! In case you missed it last week, here’s Epic Beard Man’s vietnam flashback take on what happened.

I don’t know, this dude sort of looks like the guy from the video, but it sure doesn’t sound like him. I don’t remember Beetlejuice being as well spoken as this guy. Regardless my main question remains, what the fuck was up with the I AM A MOTHERFUCKER T-shirt, who made it and where can we get one!?

You can skip to 0:57 to get to the main WTF? moment, but truly the whole minute and a half is a pretty trippy “WTF”. Thanks to Desboobs for pointing this in our direction, and @cunei4m for leading us to the whole video.

No, not those kinds of Cathouses! These are cafes in Tokyo were patrons can spend some time enjoying the company of cats! I know this sounds ridiculously odd, but it’s Japan Ok? How is this any odder than this? It’s actually infinitely way more sane if you ask me. Just look at the guy up above just waiting to me you!

The concept behind these is very similar to Japanese hostess bars where you can select from a wide range of girls in a variety of outfits ranging from maids, school girls, gothic lolita to just your favorite anime characters and enjoy some drinks or even some video games in their company. Above is the “menu” of all the lovely cats you can select to spend your time with for ¥900 (about $10) an hour.

Coilhouse recently took a visit inside one of these Tokyo Cat Cafes and has a great rundown of this very surreal experience that was filled with highly trained cats and I’m sure some pretty creeped out Japanese patrons. I mean who wants the presence of a weird westerner as you try and get your cuddle on with some sweet, sweet kitties.

As with any good cathouse, there are some rules of conduct patrons must adhere to. Above is said rules of the house… just like with strippers, you must also be gentleman with these saucy felines. Why Cat Cafe’s you say? Most people unfortunately just do not have the space in their Tokyo apartments to house a cat, let alone deal with it’s litter box. Plus the work environment in Japan can be very, very stressful and who wouldn’t want to relieve some of that stress by stroking one of those guys for a little while?

Best believe I’m hitting one of these up in a week or so! Just don’t tell my girlfriend… I’m just kidding she’s coming with me. We actually visited something sort of similar to this in Amsterdam, De Poezenboot!

I hate all holidays except for Halloween and the Fourth of July.  Every other holiday mostly serves to make lonely people miserable and aggravate family stresses to the point where people are screaming at each other and throwing shit. I think that Christmas, Valentines Day and New Years Eve are all evil and wrong. Thanksgiving is a little bit of a fence sitter but it still makes people feel like shit.

Despite hating the holidays I do like the week after the holidays when all the candy is half off.  I was in a Rite Aid where I picked up a Snoopy Valentine that contained really bad peanut butter cups, a Hello Kitty valentine with chalky candy bracelets inside and a Barbie valentine with conversation hearts in it.  I actually like these godawful candies even though I know it is wrong.  These were weirder than the ones I was used to.  Half of the candies just said “OH BOY” but the others ranged from confusing to threatening.

I am supposing that these hearts were made by people in another country who got some old conversation hearts and English words which they then programmed into the machine that prints words onto candy hearts in a very computer-like font. I like to imagine little girls faxing each other or Barbie being so in love with someone that she is moved to fax him a very passionate letter.

I am not sure if the candy is saying that things are hopeless or encouraging you to hope less. Either way, grim.

I got dewy eye from putting my head in a litter box one time. That suckkkked.

These seem to be written by and for depressed people who sit around all day by themselves.

I will get you next time.

When?

Don’t leave.

Is timing romantic? So many of these seem to be about the past and the future. “What now?”, “Yes now”, “When?”, “Next time.” It’s like whoever was writing these just passed the portion of the English for Malaysians class where they taught how to refer to things existing in time.

Noby Noby Boy, the new game from Keita Takahashi, was just ported over to the iPhone so I think this is as good a time as any to discuss it’s creator and his work.

For anyone who doesn’t know: Keita Takahashi is the creator of the big culty hit Katamari Damacy.  In Katamari you control a character with a magic ball that can roll things up.  You start small but the more you roll the bigger the ball becomes, allowing you to pick up more shit.  In the early levels you are tiny and only able to pick up thumbtacks and little birds but eventually you start to pick up bigger things like cats and pieces of houses.  The first time you pick up a person is probably one of the most satisfying gaming moments around.   Later on you’ll be able to pick up whole masses of land with the end goal of using all you’ve rolled up to roll up the solar system.

The game is just fucking crazy. You are the Prince of the Cosmos and take order from your father, the King of the Cosmos.  Everything is in that crazy Japanese (!!!!!) style but you shouldn’t write it off as there is way more going on.  The game has a couple of sequels the first of which was We Love Katamari.  In We Love Katamari you do basically the same things as the original except this time everyone you take missions from FANS of you and your exploits from the first game.  It is rather “meta” and hints at in the workings of it’s creator Keita Takahashi.

Now Keita is a strange dude.  He is technically a videogame designer yet he has gone on record several times saying he HATES VIDEOGAMES and does not play them.  He thinks games are stupid and has quit making them several times to work on other shit, like designing a playground for children AND adults(!) that promotes softness and fun.  He has actually turned down money to work on more Katamari sequels just so he can do stuff like that.

Now that we are all caught up, back to Noby Noby Boy.  The game is Takahashi’s first real follow up to Katamari and was years in the making.  It was PS3 exclusive and people were just foaming at the dick to see what it was all about.  It turns out it is barely a game at all!  You control this weird long stretchy guy and you make him longer, then you eat things and get longer and just kind of run around eating things, and flying, and basically being a dick.  There is no objective, no goal, no achievements…you just….play.  After the video click for the rest of this amazing article!

(more…)