Immediately after purchasing one of these hats, you’ll have to Instagram a picture of yourself either counting a stack of money or holding a stack of money up to your ear like a cellphone. That’s just the type of shit you do when you’re wearing a safari hat for completely non utilitarian purposes. If you’re feeling whimsical maybe you get a pair of binoculars and leave a caption that says “On safari for the booty, RIP Steve Irwin”.
Don’t forget the RIP because the big homey The Crocodile Hunter lost his life chasing his dream of fucking with extremely dangerous wild animals. We would all be so lucky to die similarly, chasing our dreams; especially if your dream is handling booty.