Summer lookbooks feature motherfuckers hanging out by the beach, frolicking in the sand. Playing volleyball. Broads flirtatiously hitting each other with the hose, on a “suggested, but not explicitly stated” lesbianism wave. That’s because, we all imagine our Summers will be some kind of mashup of The OC and that season of Saved By The Bell where they were all lifeguards. We dare to dream, of omnipresent beaching, skinny dipping, and grilling.

If you live in a city though, your summer won’t look like that. We’re out there, but we’re the sun god Apollo in crisp Jordans. Fully relaxed limbs on a rooftop, like a white dude on a boat with a slight case of vertigo. Ladies will be “glowing”. Beers will be drank, and respectfully hollering at young ladies wearing camisoles as shirts, will become the predominate local sport. Run through an open fire hydrant with your niece. Make friends with Papi, the older gentleman that sells you watermelon flavored ice. Embrace the reality of summer in the city. It gives you life. Bask in the glow of barely covered, attractive human bodies.

Welcome back to life, back to reality. Мишка Summer 2013.

• Sus Hats ($25.00/$32.00)

Usually people only know you’re a sus type of character, when you do sus shit. When you get busted staring at tiddays in a rainstorm—broads know. When you get caught posting cat videos on Facebook, while you’re supposed to be at grandma’s funeral—your boss knows. And, when you get arrested with a tranny prostitute for the second time in three years—errybody knows, you just went super Saiyan sus.

Now, however you can advertise that you’re a weirdo who will creep on anything with three out of four functioning limbs, with the Sus hat. At first glance you may think “breh, why would I want to blow my cover as an ordinary citizen?” I hear you, but you gotta think, what kind of weirdos, degenerates, and morally flexible cats are you gonna draw to yourself while wearing this? Answer: the best kind.

• Lobster Roll Socks (&12.00)

I’m personally buying 10 pairs of these socks. They will all be kept on ice, until I throw a party where sushi is served off of a naked woman. As guests leave, they’ll be given a pair to commemorate the most old-timey, Japanese baller shit they’ve ever been a part of. If you dream of magnificence, as I dream of magnificence, you will do the same.

Available in black and white, for cozy boys, coke boys, business boys. The perfect accessories for sweatsuits. dress suits alike and whatever “fashion forward” amalgamation of the two you might be rocking right now. Add a lil bit of anthropomorphized sushi fun to your wardrobe.

The Pre-Summer ’13 Lookbook

Way, way back in the day. Back when the Pyramids were still referred to as “…those new buildings, down by Kima’s house”, dudes did things big. Anticipating their death, they’d spend twenty years building a shrine to themselves. If dudes got bored, they’d wage war with the known world, until they got killed or they went home as “master of the Universe”. Sometimes a cat would roll up, with the top down on a war elephant, just to show he could. Motherfuckers took math classes from aliens. It was a majestic era. Gold chains were very popular.

Our Pre-Summer ’13 Collection is inspired by this old world grandiosity. The days when your last name could be “The Great”, and that was normal. We look back to those hieroglyphs inscribed on the walls of pyramids and see pictures heavily steeped in mystery. Ancient wisdom. We also see images that’ll look very appropriate on your shirt when you’re wearing every piece of jewelry you own. Lounge on the first hot day, baby powder fresh god-king. Shirt unbuttoned, Egyptian scientists and gods on your shirt, blowing in the breeze while you hold court; down the block from a handball court. Golden child. Doing too much? Outfit speaking too loudly? Possibly, but how else will the returning aliens see you from space? Pyramid money hasn’t been that easy to come by since Rhamses II fucked everything up.

The МИШКА Pre-Summer ’13 Lookbook features Tiffany from Dark Sister and Cities Aviv draped in fineries that evoke the days of high adventure. Our modern day stand-ins for mythical royalty. Ra and Hathor in 2013, riding a triceratops down Bedford Ave, just to show they could. Shit all over a fixed gear—literally. “But, dinosaurs were long dead by the time the Egyptians were doing their thing…” a bystander screams. “This doesn’t make sense.” Very possibly, it doesn’t, but it looks amazing.

All praise be to the god, Zeus Amun-Ra and the wisdom of ancient aliens that blessed us with the high sciences and maths. The МИШКА Pre-Summer ’13 collection is available now.

• Stoney Baloney T-Shirts ($32.00)

• Stoney Baloney Sweatshirts

Today is your day stoners. 4/20. Time to smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. Bake ‘em up in some edibles. Vaporize it. Put it in some lotion and have someone rub it all over your naked body while you listen to choice Wiz Khalifa mixtape cuts. Whatever. Motherfuckers are getting high as shit today. To celebrate the hieghts your about to reach, get one of our Stoney Baloney shirts, zipup hoodies, or crewnecks. I was gonna write something about making everyday 4/20, but most of y’all are well on your way to being so high that you can’t read. Go ahead and buy one of these shirts on impulse, get the Stoney gear in a couple of days and stunt on your weed enthusiast friends.

• Keep Watch Socks ($12.00)

In movies, when they want to indicate that people are having sex; without showing them having sex, they’ll show their intertwined feet under a blanket. If the movie is on some extra risque while still being PG-13 shit, they might have a lil thrusting foot motion going on. Unrelated, I recently checked out a photo documentary series about a park in Japan where young lovers would go, to do the deed, under the cover of darkness. You know, fucking. This park wasn’t remarkable for that reason alone. It was instead notable for its small community of voyeurs who would observe the couples “getting it in” from a couple of feet away.

I bring these stories up, because it’s getting warmer out. Parks are gonna start having people fucking in them again. You might be one of these people. If you’re worried about motherfuckers creepin’ while you’re freakin’, maybe you cop these Keep Watch socks. That way, while you’re getting it in, those eyeballs will be looking at the perverts. Freaking em out, making them feel uncomfortable like the judging eyes of the baby Jesus. Eternally watching them be creeps while nice religious folks just try to get their fuck on in the park. Perverts hate that shit. Your sessions will be undisturbed, all because of the power of those socks. Party on.

Just in time for everyone’s favorite drug related holiday we’ve got some Stoney Baloney gear coming for you. Shirts, crewnecks, and hooded sweatshirts in an assortment of colors that’ll all match whatever weed inspired accessories you plan on rocking to your cannabis legalization discussion group. Show up in any of these joints—pun intended—to let everyone in the group know you’re whimsical about your weed consumption. Sure you want bud legalized, but you’re not some pedantic fuck, that turns every conversation into a polemic about the virtues of weed. Plus jawns really respect whimsical, yet philosophically stalwart type dudes. That’s how Bil Clinton got all the ass ever. Cop a 1975 Hillary Clinton, or a ’98 Lewinsky if you like ‘em thicker and freakier. Whatever works for you, Stoney makes it possible tho.

Rock the Stoney gear at any other time of the year to let the world subtly know about your affinity for the “reefer”. It’ll also explain to the world why you take wild long to decide what you want on your burrito bowl at Chipotle, but then again, that’s a stressful decision for the most sober of minds.

Stoney Baloney gear will be available April 20th in the Мишка Store, because we’re whimsical with our product release dates.

The Grand Opening Reception for the new San Francisco store is going down tonight. There will be music, drinks, good times. Motherfucking merriment. There will also be limited edition shirts, jsut for the SF crowd. The last couple of days we premiered some collaborations with BLVCK SCVLE, Rebel 8, and Kozik, now we have the final shirts from Jonny Ryan and Mike Shantz.

Both shirts look like something an insane person or a fourteen year old would wear for a “night out on the town”. That’s usually the look we try to cultivate around here, so obviously we’re really happy with how both shirts came out. Come down tonight to the new store and get fancy, schizo style.

Мишка
San Francisco Opening Reception
April 12th 7-9PM
3422 25th Street
San Francisco, CA 94110

As we continue on with the San Francisco store exclusives, we present the Rebel 8 X Мишка shirt, with illustration by L’amour Supreme and the BLVCK SCVLE X Мишка shirt.

The Rebel 8 shirt features L’amour’s classic ghoulish hand gripping an 8ball on a pocket tee, with a blown up version of the illustration on the back. This is the type of thing you might see in life, if you got into a pool game with the devil for your soul or if you took a lot of acid and watched that episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air where Uncle Phil has to rescue Will from the pool hall. Good times either way.

The BLVCK SCVLE shirt features the classic Keep Watch locked inside of some sacred geometry. Most likely some kind of hippie wizard will use said sacred geometry to open a dimensional portal to the netherworld in Golden Gate park, in a failed attempt to communicate with the spirit of Grateful Dead singer Jerry Garcia. It’ll be real shitty. But, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Both shirts will exclusively be available at our San Francisco store opening, in limited quantities. Make sure you stop by the opening reception on April 12th (this Friday) to get the exclusive SF gear, and to party.

Мишка
San Francisco Opening Reception
April 12th 7-9PM
3422 25th Street
San Francisco, CA 94110

• Mad Decent X Мишка Coach’s Jacket ($158.00)

What would look like if legendary L.A Raiders coach John Madden, at 175 years old, all of a sudden got way into partying. What if he became a staple on the scene? Showing up at Juke nights, popping up on LastNightsParty, sweating through his clothes, rolling like a bastard at a DK Sliink night. What if you were at a Rusko show and Madden was strolling around the party, giving people tips on partying? Yelling “Boom! What a hit“ every time someone hooked up on the dance floor  Coach, out there advising girls on their form while twerking; giving the DJs motivational speeches before the show; telling people when they need to switch up from drinking that dark liquor, to hydrating with some nice Dosani; instructing girls on how to properly run a cockblock for their friends. You know coach type shit. It would, be beautiful.

If that happened, surely Madden would roll through parties in this Mad Decent X Мишка Coach’s Jacket. It’s a sleek black,  which goes with pretty much any outfit. The damn thing says “DECENT” across the front, which let’s everyone know you’re an official nice, type dude.  Most importantly though, it bears a Death Adder on arm, and Major Lazer on the other; a combination of symbols that’s recognized in international waters as a clear mark of someone that parties hard.