The Creepy Touch crashed and burned pretty hard. We ran through a year’s budget in just one summer and the final episode ended with me getting beaten to death. The surviving participants no longer speak. Like a phoenix from the ashes or a kleenex from the trashes, I am reborn.

They say that you can never go home but “they” are super wrong since I did it and I didn’t even have to do it alone. My daddy and I went to my spiritual home, a comic book store in Stamford, Connecticut. A Timeless Journey. I used to have dreams that I would travel to this place on a flying kickboard and sometimes I would realize I wasn’t wearing pants.

When I was fourteen I made a stop here while I was on my first date, with the girl in tow, and I bought a Madman shirt. Later she let me kiss her anyway. I guess women make up their minds about whether or not you get to be on them way before it happens and even a trip to a comic store won’t deter them. I wonder where that girl is now?

My daddy, Glenn, and I decided to stop by and check out the store on Black Friday, see what it was like. Naturally, it was empty. We harrassed and harangued Paul, the owner, until the interview was done.

If you find yourself in Stamford stop by A Timeless Journey, home away from home.

In this episode: If each episode of the Creepy Touch is like one of ICP’s joker’s cards then this. the tenth, is like the Wraith. That’s because it’s the final one. Watch the Toilet Cobra become increasingly aggressive as he attempts to interview the increasingly passive rock group, Suckers. See as he victimizes them and later becomes a victim himself. You’ve been creepily touched for the last time.

That’s right folks we’ve come to the end of out elongated Creepy Touch! But fear not, both the Toilet Cobra and The Vidiot will be back before you know it with all knew mayhem exclusively for the Bloglin!

In this episode: Toilet Cobra goes to Philadelphia on a bus that smells like shit and dicks and has fun bouncing around like a doofus to deafening rhythmic music. He spoke to some other doofuses about stupid shit. It’s that kind of show. Stupid people talking about stupid shit. Also the long awaited Diplo interview in which we delve into his early years and he explains why he makes gang sign hand gestures whenever his photo is taken. Skerrit Bwoy also makes an appearance and tells the uninitiated about his village.

And don’t forget to get your The Creepy Touch T-Shirt!

The Creepy Touch T-Shirt

The T-shirt no one was asking for, of the show no one watches… (I’m just kidding!) Now you, too, can look like our resident host of The Creepy Touch & hipster degenerate illustrator, The Toilet Cobra!

Now for a mere $28, you can truly prove how punk you are by saying “FUCK YOU!” to traditional punk morals and buying a one color t-shirt that cost us like, I don’t know… ¢65 to make? You can even pretend that The Creepy Touch is a super obscure noise band from Savannah (or someplace) and earn cool points with your pals who have never heard of the show or capitalist fat cats like us over at Мишка! Plus the tee is printed in super limited quantities of like 372,ooo units! Whoa!!!

YOU GONNA GET TOUCHED! So why not let the Toilet Cobra be the one doing the touching?

In this episode: Toilet Cobra meets Jon Langford of the legendary punk band The Mekons and spends most of the interview asking Jon about his penis. What a dirty degenerate hipster! Toilet Cobra that is, not Jon Langford.

In this episode: The Toilet Cobra and Fucked Up’s lead singer Damian “Pink Eyes” Abraham have a tender talkabout in the back of record cave, Academy Records. These two goofs flapped their gums like back in the day chums about Serbia, MTV, Fox News and baby humiliation. Watch along, won’t you, my darling?

In this episode: Toilet Cobra gets accompanied by his Dad to a Horror Convention! Watch as Toilet Cobra meets Tom Savini, Gwar and Toxie. Toilet Cobra’s Dad on the other hand is disgusted by the spectacle of it all.

In this episode: The Toilet Cobra introduces us to Captain Walrus who then chats with Pete from Dinowalrus about rock, architecture and deathtraps. Also some kids get weirded out! YOU’VE BEEN TOUCHED!!!!

In this episode: The Toilet Cobra visits the home of Bald Eagles and BK Broylerz, two artists who proceed to show the camera extreme examples of hate, love and all the other emotions. Dancing, fighting, kissing, cat shit. YOU’VE BEEN TOUCHED!!!!

This is seriously the most disturbing and uncomfortable Creepy Touch yet!

In this episode: Toilet Cobra sits down with Yatagarasu immediately after his performance at the Pogo in Togo party and make him explain how he makes music with Nintendos while he’s putting his stuff away. YOU’VE BEEN TOUCHED!

If you’ve missed the past two episodes of The Creepy Touch then catch up NOW!