Hello Art Lovers,

Toilet Cobra here.  I haven’t been blogging on the Mishka Bloglin much recently except in relation to products.  I’ve been busy doing more important shit.  Mishka’s had me working in the Mishka sweatshop, grinding up the babies that we melt down and turn into T-shirts.

No seriously, I been busy as Hell.  I did a fourteen page interview with Genesis P-Orrdige that will be available on this site soon.  I did a watercolor portrait of Jay Reatard which you can get on a T-shirt by joining his official fanclub.  I did a few paintings for Scion, the car company.  I drew that T-shirt in the photo above and I made art for my show of paintings and drawings at the Mishka store.

Here’s some of the art.  It was just one giant cluster of either fifty or fifty-one pieces.  Some were framed, some were new.  Some were just old shit.  None of them got bought because I priced them too high for the kind of dirtbags who come to the Mishka store.

Maybe some zany billionaire will swoop in and buy all my art.  Either way, I’ll be fine.  This isn’t the Nick Gazin giftshop, THIS IS MY FUCKING ART! ART! ART! ART!  Imagine me slamming my head on a piano over and over again like Schroeder as you read that last outburst.

I dedicated the show to my brother Charlie. I miss him a lot. I also dedicated it to my old hair. I miss it too.

It was a fucking shitty evening but the Mishka stores throbbing purple light drew out the streetware nerdos like a bug zapper.

My dad showed up kind of looking like Indiana Jones when he shows up as a bearded and elderly Indiana Jones in the second season of the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. You ever try to watch that show? It’s so fucking unwatchable. They tried to make it educational but the information they offer up is either mostly fake or common knowledge. Also, Indiana Jones was full of magic and shit.

The point of Indiana Jones isn’t to teach kids about Ancient Egypt, it’s about seeing girls covered in rats and bugs and then seeing a nazi’s head explode.  Remember when my dad exploded the horror convention with his meanness?

I think these girls got their hair from the same wig shoppe.

It’s reassuring to know that the goofy and hot high school goth chicks who walk around with candy and giant stuffed Pikachus are still roaming the land, proud and free. They’re like buffalo that make me feel horny and old and bitter. Good candy though.

Way to try to hide how cute you are with big glasses, lady. Doesn’t work. I still know that you’re hotstuff. You need to get bigger glasses.

Hey, it’s my pal Karen. My favorite pastime is flirting at her mom. She commuted to the show in a bi-plane by the look of her outfit.

I talked to these NYU girls for a little bit.  Apparently their video art professor told them about the show.  They all look so cute but there’s something that’s also kind of apologetic and naive about them.

I wonder if there’s a place i can go to meet thirty-five year old divorcees who’ve been beaten down by life. There was just too much youthful energy at my show and it made me sick.

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Hopefully none of you are strangers to the face of our sweet, sweet Toilet Cobra. Who among us doesn’t recognize that trademark Rollie Fingers style moustache that he’s been sporting for a number of years now. Well my friends I came upon the Toilet Cobra’s facebook and was shocked to discover these photos.. It is with great sadness I must inform you that his majestic moustache is no more.

Like Samson, is that where he drew his power from? Can TC still wield his hipster powers and his Creepy Touch as skillfully without that trademark mustache? I guess we will all soon find out. One thing is for certain, I bet some hipster harlot put him up to doing this!

P.S. Nick you look good with just a normal mustache (third picture down).

The Creepy Touch crashed and burned pretty hard. We ran through a year’s budget in just one summer and the final episode ended with me getting beaten to death. The surviving participants no longer speak. Like a phoenix from the ashes or a kleenex from the trashes, I am reborn.

They say that you can never go home but “they” are super wrong since I did it and I didn’t even have to do it alone. My daddy and I went to my spiritual home, a comic book store in Stamford, Connecticut. A Timeless Journey. I used to have dreams that I would travel to this place on a flying kickboard and sometimes I would realize I wasn’t wearing pants.

When I was fourteen I made a stop here while I was on my first date, with the girl in tow, and I bought a Madman shirt. Later she let me kiss her anyway. I guess women make up their minds about whether or not you get to be on them way before it happens and even a trip to a comic store won’t deter them. I wonder where that girl is now?

My daddy, Glenn, and I decided to stop by and check out the store on Black Friday, see what it was like. Naturally, it was empty. We harrassed and harangued Paul, the owner, until the interview was done.

If you find yourself in Stamford stop by A Timeless Journey, home away from home.

In this episode: If each episode of the Creepy Touch is like one of ICP’s joker’s cards then this. the tenth, is like the Wraith. That’s because it’s the final one. Watch the Toilet Cobra become increasingly aggressive as he attempts to interview the increasingly passive rock group, Suckers. See as he victimizes them and later becomes a victim himself. You’ve been creepily touched for the last time.

That’s right folks we’ve come to the end of out elongated Creepy Touch! But fear not, both the Toilet Cobra and The Vidiot will be back before you know it with all knew mayhem exclusively for the Bloglin!

In this episode: Toilet Cobra goes to Philadelphia on a bus that smells like shit and dicks and has fun bouncing around like a doofus to deafening rhythmic music. He spoke to some other doofuses about stupid shit. It’s that kind of show. Stupid people talking about stupid shit. Also the long awaited Diplo interview in which we delve into his early years and he explains why he makes gang sign hand gestures whenever his photo is taken. Skerrit Bwoy also makes an appearance and tells the uninitiated about his village.

And don’t forget to get your The Creepy Touch T-Shirt!

The Creepy Touch T-Shirt

The T-shirt no one was asking for, of the show no one watches… (I’m just kidding!) Now you, too, can look like our resident host of The Creepy Touch & hipster degenerate illustrator, The Toilet Cobra!

Now for a mere $28, you can truly prove how punk you are by saying “FUCK YOU!” to traditional punk morals and buying a one color t-shirt that cost us like, I don’t know… ¢65 to make? You can even pretend that The Creepy Touch is a super obscure noise band from Savannah (or someplace) and earn cool points with your pals who have never heard of the show or capitalist fat cats like us over at Мишка! Plus the tee is printed in super limited quantities of like 372,ooo units! Whoa!!!

YOU GONNA GET TOUCHED! So why not let the Toilet Cobra be the one doing the touching?

In this episode: Toilet Cobra meets Jon Langford of the legendary punk band The Mekons and spends most of the interview asking Jon about his penis. What a dirty degenerate hipster! Toilet Cobra that is, not Jon Langford.

In this episode: The Toilet Cobra and Fucked Up’s lead singer Damian “Pink Eyes” Abraham have a tender talkabout in the back of record cave, Academy Records. These two goofs flapped their gums like back in the day chums about Serbia, MTV, Fox News and baby humiliation. Watch along, won’t you, my darling?

In this episode: Toilet Cobra gets accompanied by his Dad to a Horror Convention! Watch as Toilet Cobra meets Tom Savini, Gwar and Toxie. Toilet Cobra’s Dad on the other hand is disgusted by the spectacle of it all.

In this episode: The Toilet Cobra introduces us to Captain Walrus who then chats with Pete from Dinowalrus about rock, architecture and deathtraps. Also some kids get weirded out! YOU’VE BEEN TOUCHED!!!!