Hey, how was your holiday? Whatever. This week’s debrief comes to you straight from my parents’ sofa in San Francisco where I’m watching Elf for the third time and having my mother make me all kinds of snacks. We’re all about to get “tanked up” though, as my dad says, so let’s run through this debrief quickly.

Black Friday
With Thanksgiving over, the Christmas season is now officially underway, and with that comes the traditional pepper spraying, shooting, and stabbing of holiday shoppers. What, that’s not tradition where you’re from? Oh it’s not traditional here either? Well, it unfortunately might be now. This year, shoppers intending to capitalize on Black Friday deals had more to deal with than just long lines, as people across the country were injured in attempts to get survival necessities like Xboxes and waffle makers.

Nationwide, the biggest story to come out of the near-Black Friday Massacre, was that of a woman who pepper sprayed over twenty people in a Los Angeles-area Walmart in order to get to a crate of Xboxes. Though really, can you blame her? Those things go fast. And apparently, a security guard in North Carolina also pepper sprayed customers looking for various electronics. Two Xboxes says he’s from Davis.

Crowds in New York reportedly looted a Soho clothing store, a crime that could be committed at any point during the year, thereby defeating the purpose of Black Friday. And in San Leandro a woman was robbed and shot in the foot while loading her Black Friday purchases into her car. In retaliation, her husband took out and fired a sawed-off shotgun from the glove compartment, because that just happened to be in there. With Americans outdoing even a fictionalized enraged version of themselves, we can only hope for a string of viruses and internet bullying on Cyber Monday.

Here’s a thought: Dr. Pepper should be the name of a superhero who wields pepper spray.

Just a thought.

Black Star Friday
For those uninterested in scoring deals, as well as a burning sensation in their eyes, Black Friday also turned out to be Black Star Friday. Just when you thought the year of colossal hip hop duos was over, Mos Def (recently switching to the name Yasiin Bey, though here he will just be known as Mos Def because the name change is unnecessary) and Talib Kweli (recently switching to the name Mos Def, now that it’s available) (not really) return as Black Star and drop two new songs. The first, “Fix Up” is available on iTunes and will be on their upcoming album, and the other, “You Already Knew” is available for free on their website, and is from their upcoming mixtape Aretha.

The two tracks, produced by Madlib and Oh No, respectively, are great. With nice soul samples and quality rhymes, they’re exactly what you would expect from two emcees of this caliber. Production-wise, however, something is off. The beats are wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but the songs both sound unmixed. “You Already Knew” isn’t as bad, but “Fix Up” sounds straight up like it was recorded with a built-in laptop microphone, which is funny because at the beginning Mos can be heard saying, “Nice. Nice levels.” Nice levels, they are not. Go download these songs, I’m out of jokes.

Santa Claus Is Dead
With Elf wrapping up for the third time, a perplexing thought has occurred to me. What’s the connection between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ? While Christmas is technically the celebration of Jesus’ birthday, it is very much also about Santa. It’s like Santa Day; the one day each year he gets to exhibit all of the hard work that he’s done for Hasbro and Mattel and Lego and Nintendo. At some point  St. Nick must have taken over as the authority on Christ’s birthday, but, I mean, when did that happen? How did they even get that arrangement going?

“Listen, Nick, I want you to co-sponsor my birthday. Every year, on the night of December 24, go around the world and give people gifts.”

And then what did Nick say?

“Yeah JC, I’m in.”

Is there someway I can get a Saint to co-sponsor my birthday?

Then Christ likely threw in the whole disclaimer about how Nick would have to move to the North Pole, change his name to Santa, and spend all year hand-making toys with the help of a bunch of magical beings. What’s puzzling though is why this switch was even made. Was Jesus unable to handle his own birthday duties? He is a pretty important guy; I could understand if he’s got other things going on. But at this point, Christmas, at least in my barely-Jewish household, is solely about Santa (if that. What’s up, consumerism?).

In actuality (as actual as this discussion could ever get), that could never have been the condition under which Nick took the reins of Christmas. Let’s not forget that a person must die before becoming a saint, an unfortunate policy that still, to this day, bums the hell out of me (I think I’m a perfect candidate for sainthood. My mother agrees). What this means is that JC never even spoke to Nick about him being his birthday mascot, as both of them were dead when the decision was made. Further, ol’ St. Nick didn’t even have a choice when it came to working all year making toys for people in exchange for, if he’s lucky, some Pepperidge Farm cookies.  At some point a priest, or the pope, or maybe God himself, must have decided that someone needed to be the new face of Christmas.

“You know, we need to spice up Jesus’ birthday. I think we need a mascot.”

“You do?” asked another person in the conversation.

“Yeah. Definitely. Let’s just give it to Nick, he’s a saint now, right?”

And what a way for a saint to be rewarded. You spend your whole life being saintly, and then you’re rewarded with an afterlife full of physical labor. And let’s face it, Mrs. Claus is no trophy wife. At least for St. Valentine, he’s got Cupid working on his day. So what are we to believe, Santa is a ghost forever inhabiting the North Pole? That sure would make the whole chimney thing more feasible. Or, rather, is he the renegade saint who hi-jacked Christ’s b-day? Oh, none of this matters because Santa doesn’t exist? Well, true, maybe, but culturally he exists, and culturally he is the representative of someone else’s birthday, which is weird. If someone had told Nick while he was alive that one day he would be known for piloting a reindeer-assisted sled and work all year long with a bunch of elves, all in the name of Jesus, he probably would’ve been excited. Really excited. It’s Christmas time. Get excited.

Tonight will be a brief debrief. A sort of debrief-to-go, if you will. This debrief will be ideal for reading on a subway ride of about three stops, or a bus ride of two. Read this as you’re walking down the stairs, or if you have wireless internet, read it in the bathroom. Alright. Let’s debrief.

Politics: I should probably break this politics section down into subsections because of the amount of stories that unfolded this week. I’m not going to though because this is a quick read. Here’s what happened in the political sphere: Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi was killed, President Obama announced that the Iraq war is over and that troops will be home by December 31, and presidential hopeful, Herman Cain, continued to divulge priceless tips that, even if he is not elected president, should really be considered. Recently, Cain explained that he thinks an electric fence should be built along the U.S.-Mexico border to stop illegal immigration. Certainly a brilliant idea, Cain later said, “That’s a joke. I’ve also said America needs to get a sense of humor.” Does standup comedian Herman Cain have a chance at becoming president? (Definitely not.) You decide.

Music: Not much happened in the music world this week, nothing worth recapping at least. One thing was that I gave a presentation on the similarities between Jazz, Hip Hop, and 19th Century German music. That happened. I would link you to the power point, but that seems a bit much. Another thing that happened, was the release of this commercial for Drake’s upcoming sophomore effort, Take Care.

Now, I like Drake. He seems like a cool guy. You wouldn’t get that opinion from this ad, however. “750 Million Views On YouTube” “Over 3 Million Twitter Followers”; I didn’t realize amount of Twitter followers was grounds to buy an album.

Personal Triumph: This is a follow-up to last week’s harrowing tale of my experiences in the post office and how my brown jeans – my favorite brown jeans – were lost in the mail. Well, like the Iraq war, this plight has come to an end; my jeans have been recovered. I’m wearing them right now, in fact.

The entire contents of my package – my brown jeans, a book, and a pair of socks – finally was recovered after several trips to the Post Office, in fact. In fact, you should never have anything sent to the Stuytown Post Office. Ever. Just a piece of advice. Now have a good week, Reader.

For this new segment, I’ll be taking the re-up beyond the small screen and into reality as I recap what’s been going on in the world (or, at least, in the US) this past week. Each Saturday I’ll present you with a few stories, some that were heavily-covered topics in the media, and some that just flew under the radar, and then discuss them (pretty much just make jokes about them).

Does that sound like something that might interest you, Reader? Good. Let’s get into it then:

Politics: The Occupy Wall Street movement continued this week, with protests expanding nationally to include demonstrations in Philadelphia, Salt Lake City, San Francisco, and Anchorage, Alaska (which, I don’t know if you realized, but I visited once with my grandparents). The movement, often labeled as the liberal inverse of the tea party, continues to unite people across the country through socio-economic unrest, because apparently complaining on the internet was no longer cutting it.

Last night, rapper Talib Kweli stopped by Wall Street to show his support and debut a new verse from his upcoming album, Prisoner of Conscious (and further cement his place as one of the greatest emcees of all time). Earlier in the week Kweli stopped by The Colbert Report with Mos Def as Black Star and debuted a new song, which I would’ve liked to post on here, but Viacom had the video pulled. Instead, check out Talib’s performance down on Wall St. up top.

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Technology: This week saw the passing Apple co-founder Steve Jobs. What this week also saw was my discovery that Steve and I were cousins. And not even through some absurd amount of removal, just second cousins, once removed. Specifically, his birth mother was my grandfather’s cousin. How about that, Reader?

This is most exciting because people might take pity on me, and I am always down to be pitied. Condolences, in fact, are some of my favorite things to receive. Also, now I will be given a little social leeway: “I’m sorry I’m late, we recently had a death in the family,” or, “Hey, can I have some of that? You know, did I tell you my cousin just died?” Of course, my condolences do go out to Jobs’ immediate family, though it is nice to now have another example to use when saying genius runs in my family.

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Food: Last Sunday I bought a jar of tart raspberry jam. Intending to put it on toast, I’ve been instead using it on turkey sandwiches, with a bit of provolone and some Dijon mustard. It’s really turned out to be a delicious combination. It’s kind of like the Thanksgiving sandwich appearing every year around November and lasting a suspiciously long time, generally until March, but with a sharper taste.

Additionally, I was in the mood for root beer all week, and last night I finally had some and it was amazing. Definitely the most I’ve ever enjoyed root beer.

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Entertainment: While Sunday’s announcement that Arrested Development would be returning in the form of a mini-series and feature film was outstanding, it greatly overshadowed another momentous TV announcement, namely that The Wonder Years is now on Netflix! I spent the majority of last Christmas break watching The Wonder Years and eating dried fruit and drinking chocolate milk.

That being the case (as well as my normal course of action for any time I am at home), I was overjoyed this week when Netflix announced that they now have all one hundred and fifteen episodes of the series available online. Then I remembered that I don’t have Netflix, which is probably for the best in this case, otherwise I would now be spending every night watching Kevin Arnold sheepishly swoon over Winnie Cooper.

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Overview:  The Ides of March was released yesterday and stars grandmaster gentleman, George Clooney. I decided on that image for the lead image of this week’s weekly debrief because it features two very handsome men, and also because it’s a new release. Other things that released this past week were J. Cole‘s debut, Cole World: The Sideline Story, which I don’t care about enough to discuss so I’m just going to direct you to our Bloglin review of the album, and Kanye’s Dw womenswear line, which I do care about but just don’t feel like talking anymore.

All in all I’d say it’s been a pretty good week. What if I were to rate the week at the end of each debrief? What kind of scale would I even use? Ten point? Six crosses? Whatever, I probably will not rate the weeks. I will however encourage you, Reader, to share interesting stories from the past week in the comments section. I mean, if you want. We are just about onto another week.

Week Rating: 7/10 (just in case)

Hello, guys and ghouls. I’ve flaked on posting a Weekly Round-Up for about a month now. My apologies. The good news is, the Round-Up is back and the even better news is that Lost is over tonight. I’m going with an open mind but also with low expectations. Anyways, back to it.

• The Summer 2010 Lookbook is now online! The line itself, Too Much Too Young, will be available online in just 5 days! Fuck rent. Fuck student loan bills. Buy Мишка.

• The Мишка x Feral House collaboration, the Process Church of the Final Judgment, is seriously amazing. If you’re in the area, be sure to go to the release party on June 1 at the Santos Party House.

• I copy and pasted a bunch of old gang cards and pretended to know what I was talking about. The truth is in the comments section, where some real Chi kids let me know what’s up.

• Our favorite photographer Ellen Stagg collaborated with Living Proof Magazine on a truly unique skate deck. It features Мишка calendar girl Justine Jolie. Great job, Ellen. It came out beautiful.

• This week’s Choice Is Yours pitted M.I.A. vs Bjork. I didn’t chime in at the time, but I’m going with Bjork’s Homogenic. “Bachelorette” owns. I saw a Bjork show once at a baseball field on Coney Island. During “Human Nature” a large black woman came up and danced with me. Highlight of my life? We’ll see.

• If you like mood, synths, and romance, then check out the White Nights Mix from Baryshnikov. The duo is made up of our fearless leader Crook and DJ/Producer Mike Dextro.

• Trent Reznor’s new project, How to Destroy Angels, released their first music video. Hateball gave his two cents. I haven’t seen them in ages, but don’t they explain how to destroy angels in one of the Warlock movies?

• Caffeine Powered’s new video game column, Press Start!, is going strong. I don’t play video games and even I read it. Also, Near Mint Condition will never stop.

• Speaking of video games, Doc Dino gave us the lowdown on Steam, a new video game thingy which allows Mac users to play some rad console games.

• After some soul searching in the jungles of Peru, the Vidiot returns with a new season of your favorite show, Kill With Video.

• Some woodpusher named Eric Koston dropped into the LA store. No big deal.

• If a movie is called Kick or Die, well then it better have some sweet kicks in it. Kick or Die delivers.

• Best search term for the week: “mons pubis.”

• Top rated albums of the week: S/T from Crystal Castles, In and out and Back Again from Woven Bones, This Is Happening from LCD Soundsystem

• The D.A.R.T. Spring 2010 Lookbook is up featuring the photography of Andrew Temkin. Models John Prolly, Jerimiah Jones, Tony Fast and Kris Fay also ride bikes.

• The internet world has been forever changed by the simple, honest question: “Fucking magnets, how do they work?”

• The nice folks at Asylum ran a video profiling our favorite photographer, Ellen Stagg.

• Caps gave a detailed preview of the Stanley Cup Playoffs in the latest Sporting Observations.

• Toilet Cobra recaps Soulclap and the latest Midnight Till Death.

• In his new column, New Toy Smell, Hateball shows off his giant, bitchin’ Creature From the Black Lagoon.

• Illustrator extraordinaire Mark Todd‘s “Power Fury” show is now on display at 350 Broadway!

• Store Spottings: Japanese rapper Anarchy and Suitkace of the legendary Breaks Cru!

• Search engine term of the week: “arm wrestler with one big arm.”

• Top rated reviews from the past two weeks: Cut and Run from Child Abuse, It All Falls Apart from The Sight Below, Steal Your Face from Mi Ami, LUX from Disappears, Immer Etwas from Nice Face, and Endless Falls from Loscil.

Hi. I spent yesterday bouncing around town and eating other people’s Easter food. So here’s the round-up coming at you a day late, but still on time.

• If you haven’t downloaded the Das Racist Shut Up, Dude mixtape, I’ll fight you. It’s ridiculous and it’s FREE so you have no excuse. Snipe like Wesley.

• Toilet Cobra left his lair and ventured to the legendary vintage store Metropolis for a sale and a DJ.

• The Old Spice commercials directed by Tim and Eric are awesome.

• Before Crook’s post, I had never heard of R.A.E.D. Still not sure how I feel about it. Some of the lines are funny but I can’t get through a whole song.

• The Chris Trevino x Secret Base Dr. Morality shirt is now available in the online store. It kicks much ass. The Ov Curse and Trouble & Bass WMC shirts are available as well. Also, much ass.

• Hateball found a wedding DJ’s lack of New Jack knowledge disturbing.

• This week’s Choice Is Yours and pitted Hard to Earn against Midnight Marauders. TCQ was in the lead last time I checked.

• The season finale of Kill With Video was last week. Big thanks to the Vidiot for several weeks of disturbing, hilarious, and racy videos. More video barrages coming soon, ya’ll.

• Top rated albums of the week: Madlib Medicine Show Vol. 3: Beat Konducta in Africa from Madlib, Black Sands from Bonobo, Hippies from Harlem, Until the Future from Kenan Bell, and I Will Be from Dum Dum Girls.

• Our poll on the first R-rated movie readers saw in the theater had some great responses. Plenty of T2‘s, but overall there was a diverse mix of movies. I really like Lelo Cool J’s tale of seeing movies in eastern France.

• Some fresh product dropped this week, including the Мишка script cap collaboration with Starter and the мишка x akihiro namba Tokyo exclusive shirt.

• The Ov Curse SXSW showcase looked amazing. Big thanks to the bands and everyone who came out and rocked out.

• Over on the West Coast, Shark gives us the recap on the latest party at Killing Spree. I really like the above picture.

• Silent Flute and friends put together a Chatroulette Bingo Card which accurately features just about everything you will find on that social networking circle jerk. I experienced for the first (and last) time a couple weeks ago. It’s like a fucking free-for-all. So much cock.

• Toilet Cobra interviewed Ryan Martin and Gibby Miller of Dais Records.

• In the Vidiot’s absence, I curated this week’s Kill With Video. My mother says I need a new hobby.

• Breaking Bad season 3 has begun and they packed so much awesome stuff in the premiere. Besides Lost, it’s the only thing I’m watching on television right now.

• The winner of this week’s Freaky Stylee is Luis Dubuc from Dallas. To enter, check out the rules on the link and send your pic(s) to bloglin@mishkanyc.com.

• Top rated reviews of the week: Skulltaste from Mux Mool, Two Thousand and Ten Injuries from Love Is All, Headfirst from Goldfrapp, and Oversteps from Autechre.

• Happy first birthday to the flagship store in Brooklyn! Cheers to everyone who made it out to the party and got a Mishka themed forever drawing (tattoo), courtesy of the fine folks of Three Kings Tattoo. You can check out more pics over at Nicky Digital‘s site. I hate it when people refer to tattoos as “ink.” Gettin’ inked, brah!

• Twerps! reported that skateboard distributor Shiner will be exhibiting every deck they have ever produced. Daaaamn. Check out the preview here.

• No recap (yet) of the Ov Curse Showcase, but judging by this @MishkaNYC tweet, it was legendary:

Seeing //TENSE// live can only compare to when I heard Pretty Hate Machine for the first time. The crowd is going insane dancing

• The Terminator Keep Watch fitted and Rebel 8 x Mishka Denim cap are now available at the online store. I may have mentioned this on the Bloglin before, but T2 was a watershed moment in my life as a movie addict. If you ask people in their mid to late twenties what their first R-rated movie in the theater was, you’d be surprised how many will answer T2. Actually, that would make a good post. Oh, the 2nd delivery of the spring line is also available online. Money is meant to be spent, folks.

• The spirit photography of William Hope is creepy and sepia.

• ICP posted their Nightline interview in its entirety. Shows how much manipulation went into the aired version.

• The Vidiot got fucked for the fuck of it in this week’s amazing Kill With Video. The entire series will be released on laserdisc in time for the holidays.

• In other Vidiot news, Canadians make him rage.

• The winner of this week’s Freaky Stylee is Forrest Schoenleber from the Jers. To enter, check out the rules on the link and send your pic(s) to bloglin@mishkanyc.com.

• Fear of a 12th Planet took a look at the wickedest man in the world, Aleister Crowley.

• Search engine term of the week: “bubs bubs bounce”

• Top reviews of the week: the Stridulum EP from Zola Jesus, S/T from Broken Bells, Circle the Wagons from Darkthrone, Tapestry of Webs from Past Lives, and the Setting EP from Tanlines.

As I’m writing this on Saturday, people are getting мишка-inspired tattoos at 350 Broadway. I’m sipping a Bud Lite and am planning on finally watching The Box later. Fair trade-off, I think. If you haven’t been keeping up with the tattoo club, we run deep.

• мишка Tokyo is now open!!! Worldwide, fools. The gang documented their excursion to the East, check out parts one, two, and three.

• Photographer extraordinaire Ellen Stagg got a chance to shoot Buck Angel, a transman. Open your mind.

• Don’t forget SXSW attendees, the Ov Curse showcase is on Thursday, March 18th at 8:0pm.

• Fumbling around with the keys to all your different girlfriends’ apartments is a nuisance. Cop some мишка Key Toppers!!!

• The Toilet Cobra delivered some fresh scene reports: Glasslands, Secret Project Robot, and Silent Barn.

• This week’s Choice Is Yours faced off DJ Shadow and Underworld.

• Freaky Stylee sees its first overseas winner with Tommi from Finland. To enter, check out the rules on the link and send your pic(s) to bloglin@mishkanyc.com.

• Fear of a 12th Planet explored the notions of evolution and intelligent design!!!

• This week’s Kill With Video made me uncomfortable. Mission accomplished, Vidiot!

• Top rated reviews: Crypt Born and Tethered to Ruin from Vasaeleth, Plastic Beach from Gorillaz, Sisterworld from Liars, S/T EP from White Car, n° 3 from jj, and Belus from Burzum.

• мишка and Chronic Youth are teaming up to bring the darkness to SXSW!!! Ov Curse is going to be a truly unique showcase displaying the new wave of dark music.

• Speaking of going-ons in Austin, Pornsaints are having an exhibition on March 28. A photo by our beloved Ellen Stagg will be on display.

• Mr. Hateball posts up some of his Tokyo street art photos. USA = Swastikas.

• мишка goes to the movies. Sadly, we didn’t really enjoy them. Dr. No suffered through Cop Out and I got jimmy legs during Alice in Wonderland.

• DJ Khaled is a very humble person. Rick Ross has good taste.

• Once again, Lamour Supreme outdoes himself with the giant Soviet Super Soldier Bear head on display at мишка Tokyo.

• NYC takes the Freaky Stylee crown again! This week’s winner is Weez, a regular at 350 Broadway. To enter, check out the rules on the link and send your pic(s) to bloglin@mishkanyc.com.

• Cornbluth’s column Fear of a 12th Planet keeps going strong with a look at Nibiru: The 12th Planet.

• Kill With Video presents…Thee 8mm Shuffle.

• Search engine term of the week: “my ex wife.”

• Top rated reviews: A Sufi and a Killer by Gonjasufi, the Candyman EP from These Are Powers, and the Nitetime Rainbows EP from A Sunny Day in Glasgow.