Air - Les Voyage Dans le Lune (2012) [Astralwerks] // Grade: B

Writing soundtracks for silent movies has always been a cerebral exercise. Unfortunately, it often turns into the type of brain game that sacrifices enjoyment for intelligence. In the early 1990’s avant-garde artists Phillip Glass and Kronos Quartet learned this when they composed scores the likes of Nosferatu and The Golem. The results were interesting and successful, but ultimately forgettable in the long run.  Although music can spark plenty of ideas, very often it is not a wise decision to make  music an intellectual challenge.

Drive that Delorean twenty years into the future and you find Air attempting to either right the wrongs of the past or follow in the footsteps of folly. Air’s new album may fair better because it isn’t a soundtrack in the strict sense of the term.   soundtrack to Méliès’ A Trip to the Moon would technically clock in just under fifteen minutes. Instead, the French duo decided to pay homage to the  classic steam punk slice of futurism with an album of music inspired by the film. Perhaps Moon Safari might already fit that bill; but fortunately, Le Voyage Dans le Lune is a pretty good listen. It actually seems like a return to their pre-Moon Safari Mo Wax days of  experimentation, before the term “trip hop” became synonymous with boring modern latte lounge.

Built on solid beats and Krauty guitar and bass, Air manage to make the voyage organic and listenable.  There are mellow moments, and sound effects that remind the listener just who it is they are listening too, but there is also a steady intensity that has not really been there for a while. Take “Parade,” a track that seems to go from BrianWilson to Ratatat to Exmagma in less than three minutes, without ever sounding disjointed or haughty. There is plenty of porno soundtrack and even more Neu! inspired bass and beats (just check out “cosmic Trip”)  “Astronomic Club” even attempts a bit of psychedelic drone, in a way that is very reminiscent of the soundtrack to Les Vampyros Lesbos.

The one true downfall is that this is soundtrack music. As well done as it is, it is not entirely engaging. By definition it seems to hang in the background, making it a perfect album to put on while banging out some housework or entertaining guests. Being that this is the both the true vocation of Space Age Bachelor Pad music and Brian Eno’s definition of Ambient, this isn’t a bad thing at all.

I suppose I have been hearing about the new Bourne movie for a while, but I guess I sorta just didn’t think about how it was gonna be a real thing that comes out? For whatever reason I was surprised and happy to see this new trailer for the Bourne Legacy, which leaves the franchise in pudgy face Jeremy Renner’s taut and sinewy hands. It’s cool that the last 10 years have actually created a new franchise (albeit one based on a book) that has the cultural significance to support multiple iterations.

But what I’m really stoked about is definitely not the fact that I just used the word stoked. No, that was a little embarrassing. Instead, it’s the fact that this was written and directed by Tony Gilroy (who wrote the other Bourne movies) director of Michael Clayton, one of my favorite movies of recent memory. With Renner, Edward Norton, Albert Finney (!), Joan Allen, and hopefully lots of ass kicking, I think this looks pretty great. After all, Jason Bourne was just the tip of the iceberg! *cue dramatic music*

Hey buddy. It’s been awhile. No, no; don’t cry. It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault, really. Maybe it was sort of your fault. But don’t worry, it’s time again for another of Elbows’ Weekly Debriefs. Up top is a video of Champis, the hearding rabbit. Let’s get into it.

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Everybody Hates Ricky

The big news on the political front this week was that Mitt Romney took home the Nevada caucuses. The not big news was that Rick Santorum came in last.

I’ll tell you, this guy is a superb campaigner. At a stop in Florida, a gay audience member posed the question as to why homosexuals don’t have equal marriage rights. Santorum went ahead and informed everybody that same sex relationships don’t “benefit society.” To which everyone responded that Santorum doesn’t benefit society.

He went on to support Susuan G. Komen’s decision to cut funding to Planned Parenthood, saying, “I don’t believe breast cancer research is advanced by funding an organization that does abortions where you’ve seen ties to cancer.” To which everyone again chimed in to inform him that there is absolutely no link between cancer and abortions.

Regarding Santorum’s comments, Newt Gingrich said, “Hey. All I know is that Ricky’s got a spot on my moon base.”

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Heart Attacks

Paula Dean was made CEO of Jack In The Box this week. There was no official word, of course, other than the debut of Jack’s new Bacon Shake, a bacon flavored shake. This one’s got “Paula Dean” smeared all over it.

One Jack In The Box customer, who after he finished hurling his Bacon Shake at the concrete and spitting out what was his first sip of the drink, described the drink as “aggressively” bad. Sounds good.

Unfortunately, there isn’t any actual bacon in the Bacon Shake. It’s flavored with syrup. Bacon syrup. That sounds like a great product in itself. Technically the drink is vegetarian, a fact which will likely alienate many bacon enthusiasts.

Honestly, I’ve had bacon ice cream before and it’s great. And despite this being just a cup filled with Paula Dean’s bacon-y bath water in a cup, give it a chance. It’s probably great.

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There. So we’re back. It’s nice, isn’t it? Tune in next week when we speak to the architect behind Gingrich’s moon base, and learn about Emeril Lagasse’s new crawfish-flavored sports drink. I’m Elbows, you’re not. Yogurt.

It’s been a good year for lady rappers from the bay and Harlem rap revivalists, so why not get them both at the same time. This swagged out female rhymespitter, the be-braided Gita, just dropped a new video for her banger “Hood Rich.” The west coast transplant is blowing up on the NYC rap scene. Coming in slow and steady over a helluva beat from Two Stacks, Gita follows up her buzzy “Light’s Out” with another one that’s gonna leave her name in everyone’s mouth.

You’re even gonna be seeing her in one of our Lookbooks soon. Spoiler. She’s already looking fresh in this video. I’m particularly fond of the mini-kewpie doll land swagger. That’s a swagger right? Guys?

Oversized Adder Collage T-Shirt ($32.00 $22.40)

The Oversized Death Adder is one of my absolute favorite T-shirts we do. It’s iconic, imposing, scares children, excites badass children, will get you weird looks/questions on the street, and has been known to provide its wearers with superpowers. Promise. This season, however, we decided that just the straight up Death Adder wasn’t enough. No: the public demanded even more. Well here’s the perfect thing to get your grubby little mitts on. Just kidding. Your mitts aren’t grubby. You have beautiful hands. I love you. Shirt?

The Mishka mascot collage actually came about by complete accident, much like penicillin, electricity, or the genetic experiment that spawned Guy Fieri. Right around the time we first started making stickers, we were approached by one of our interns who happened to have been a scientist in the former Soviet Union. He suggested we use an adhesive of his own devising that would save us around 10 cents per sticker which, if you know your profit margins, is quite the deal. We cooked some of it up, and were happily painting it onto printouts of all our mascots when we realized that the intern had accidentally given us the recipe for a contact explosive. And by realized I mean were all sent flying in a massive explosion. My Pal The Crook landed way across the street. I found myself lodged in a wall. That’s how I got my claw arm. Once the dust had settled, however, we saw that the blast had left a massive collage of all the stickers all over the ceiling. It comes in Black and Charcoal.

Мишка
350 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY
718-388-1725
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Мишка LA
1547 Echo Park Ave
Los Angeles, CA
213-536-4234

Here’s fun and borderline NSFW video for The Death Set‘s “Chew It Like a Gun Gum” off of this year’s Michel Poiccard. Who knew that The Death Set knew how to have a good time? I mean, whenever I see Jonny Siera he’s so low energy. What a downer!

Frealz doe, Poiccard is a super fun album from front to back, and I’m happy to see that the boys are still having a fun time playing them, if that is really them under those masks that is! Roofeos hair would probably be hard to fake though…

Wha-… what the fuck is this? What am I even watching right now? Seriously, play that trailer up there first. Is that real? Is that an actual film that people, that Dario Argento worked on? Is Dario Argento suddenly the greatest living troll? I mean, there’s a giant praying mantis in that. In the trailer for a Dracula movie. That is apparently all shot in the same room.

That didn’t even look like it was vaguely shot for 3D. Is that Rutger Hauer? Oh, of couse Asia Argento is in it, naked, because no one likes to put their own nude daughter in movies more than Dario. Thanks for making this even more uncomfortable dude. That’s one of the worst things I’ve ever watched. I have to go take a nap now…

It’s been a while since I posted a good Star Wars video. It’s also been a while since I posted the nerdiest thing of all time. This is, like, an electro-dance-cello-made-in-mother’s-basement remix of the Star Wars theme song and it’s incredible. They’ve got everything from force lightning to lightsaber bows. Lightsaber bows! It blows my mind.

I was hesitant about posting this at first, but then at the end when the Sith cellist instructed me to post it using his dark powers there wasn’t much I could do. Those Sith Lords, you gotta love ‘em.

Farewell, Herman Cain

This year it was my dream that there would be a Republican Presidential Candidate named Thomas Abel, and that the nomination would boil down to a heated race between Abel and Herman Cain, and that when Cain won by a landslide the headlines would read, “Cain Kills Abel!”

Alas, now that dream is gone.

This week Herman Cain dropped out of the 2012 Presidental race to the public’s sarcastic cry of “Oh no!” Comedians everywhere took a blow from the withdrawal, as now a daily source of outstanding material has vanished. For weeks I’ve wanted to write a piece about the man whose campaign anthem was “Big Pimpin’” that would examine (make fun of) all of the greatest Herman Cain videos. There’s the one where he calls Wolf Blitzer “Blitz”, his renaming of Uzbekistan (you know, “Uzbeki-beki-beki-stan-stan”), and of course his immense knowledge of foreign policy and current happenings in Libya, seen above. This might be my favorite Cain clip. It’s a hard choice, but he really just knows nothing about Libya in the video up top. I’m going to miss Herman Cain. He brought this presidential race to life. Well, Cain, along with Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry. In honor of Herman Cain, can I get one last “9-9-9″?

No? Okay.

“December 4th”

I’m weird about music. I only listen to certain things at certain times. Miles Davis‘ Round About Midnight is reserved for December and January when I’m at home, in my car; “April Fools” by Aretha Franklin can only be listened to in April; And anything by Weezer is strictly for when I am between the ages of fourteen and eighteen.

Jay-Z‘s “December 4th” gets the same treatment. I love this song. I love it. It’s one of the best cuts on The Black Album. Be that as it may, I only can listen to it on the actual day of December 4. It’s just a thing I do (a thing called having severe neuroses). Fortunately, today is December 4! I can listen to it today! In fact, I exclusively listen to this song on the fourth. No matter what music I’ve been playing lately, or even if I feel like listening to something else, I can only listen to “December 4th”. So, yeah. If you feel like stepping your neurotic game up, start doing this. I like pickles.

Apply Your Yarmelkes Now

I’m Jewish for two reasons: the jokes and the holidays. I’m not religiously Jewish, just culturally. If there’s room for a Jew joke, I’ll make it; a day off from school for a Jewish holiday, I’ll take it. Ever since moving away from home though, Chanukah has been a real bummer. I can rarely find someone to get me one gift for a cultural holiday I observe out of completely materialistic reasons, let alone eight! This year, I’m not gonna stand for it. This year, I’m gonna do something about it. With that I present to you, my Chanukah list:

1. A massage

I’ve built up a lot of bodily stress this year. I’ve never had a professional massage before, just the shitty ones that your friends who claim they’re “great at giving massages” give. Now, I want a real one. Man or woman, I don’t care. Just someone, please, rub me down.

2. Benihana Cooking Lessons

Did you know these exist? These are actually a thing. Last winter I was at Benihana with my mother, and the wonderful self-promoters they are, they mentioned that these are now available. Let me get there. You’ve read my cooking articles, you know of my expertise in the kitchen. I need these.

3. Jay-Z’s Decoded

I actually want this. The hardcover version. Don’t skimp on me, Reader.

4. Anything Unreleased By J.D. Salinger

Salinger’s my favorite author of all time. Him, and Italo Calvino. And he’s got so much unreleased stuff locked away in his former home, would it be that hard for someone to discreetly break a window and grab a couple manuscripts? Even just one; i’ll take just one. Help me out.

5. A Bunch Of Goat Cheese

Let’s face it, it’s the best cheese.

6. A Cheese Grader

This has nothing to do with the above goat cheese. It just seems like a good thing to have.

7. Big Lurch’s “It’s All Bad” On Vinyl. Or On CD. Or Even Just The Name Big Lurch Written On A Piece Of Paper

No one eats someone like Big Lurch.

8. Anything With Polka Dots

Put it on a button up, or some socks, or jeans. It’s a great pattern.

Well, that’s my list. My goal in posting this is that some of you faithful Bloglin readers will come to my aid and get me Chanukah gifts. After all the hilarious posts I’ve given you this year, do I not deserve that? No, you’re right, I probably don’t. In that case, use this list as a guide if you’re unsure of what to get someone this holiday season. I generally know what people like. I am culture.

The Grammys don’t mean anything. It would be nice if they did, they’re supposed to be the most prestigious honor that a musician can be awarded, but they’re not. The Album Of The Year award, for example, should be given to the best album released that year, as the name suggests. This year, the nominees in that category are Adele,The Foo Fighters, Rihanna, Bruno Mars, and Lady Gaga. Three of those names are unlike the others. Rihanna: Oh, so a compilation counts as an album? In absolutely no way was Loud a cohesive body of work, otherwise known as an album. It was simply a collection of singles. Gaga’s album wasn’t as good as her first, and Bruno Mars is an adequate songwriter, but this is all inconsequential (I haven’t listened to the Foo Fighter’s new album so I’ll leave it out of this discussion (it’ll be irrelevant momentarily anyway)). One name is prominently absent from this list: Kanye West.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was one of the highest rated albums of all time, receiving five stars from Rolling Stone, a ten out of ten from Pitchfork, and an average score of ninety-four (based on forty-three reviews) on Metacritic. Those numbers are meant as a preface to my next claim that: this was one of the greatest albums of all time. It was a shoo-in for Album Of The Year, I thought, being significantly greater, not only than any other rap album from 2011, but than any album released period. Over the last year I discussed with friends how great it will be to see West accept the award for Album Of The Year, the true point of redemption for his manic public image, and a deserved honor for his magnum opus. Sometimes we would joke about the idea of him losing. It was a good joke. But never once did we consider that he would not even be nominated.

It has long been known that The Grammys are political, but now it is clear that they are only political. In denying MBDTF, a perfectly rated, written, and sequenced album, The Grammys deny having any interest in honoring music based on music. Is Rihanna’s Loud a bad collection of songs? No, some of those are really catchy, but was it the greatest work of music released in 2011? Come on. It wasn’t even kind of the greatest album released last year. But that is the recognition that it very well could receive, because it sold well, charted well, and produced hits. Also, The Grammys would presumably like Rihanna to perform, and what better way to book that than throwing her an AOTY nomination.

With award shows annually losing viewers, The Grammys want ratings, but wholesome ratings. They want minivan-friendly Bruno Mars publicity, not monstrous Kanye West. Additionally, it’s known that Kanye is disliked by the Grammy committee for his outspoken, arrogant qualities. Three of his five classic albums have been nominated for AOTY, but never has he taken home the award. And regardless of whether or not each of his previous studio albums deserved Album Of The Year, in the case of MBDTF it’s clearly not a question of the music. And the committee is not going to pretend that it is; they’re not going to throw Kanye a nomination and then give the album to Gaga, or Bruno Mars. To have Dark Fantasy seemingly lose in a competition of quality against any of the albums that are nominated would be just as unfathomable as it not qualifying. The only legitimate, credible option for the Grammys here was to give Kanye Album Of The Year, and if they’re not going to, then I’d rather he not be nominated than for them to pretend that Dark Fantasy was in any way inferior to another album from 2011.

This goes beyond just snubbing Kanye. The Grammy committee simply does not know what to do with hip hop. It receives recognition as a musical genre, but is largely quarantined into its own couple of award categories. Seldom does a hip hop album manage to cross over and receive recognition as a contender for Album Of The Year, and when it does, only twice (Lauryn Hill‘s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and Outkast‘s Speakerboxxx/The Love Below) has a rap album won. Though hip hop has arguably been the mainstay of American popular and youth music for the last ten, if not twenty years, it has to work substantially harder as a genre to receive recognition.

The Grammy committee doesn’t know how to gauge the quality of a rap album. It goes beyond them not associating with the subject matter, as plenty of hip hop fans do not have personal experience with the subject matter concerning rap, and is more that they cannot compare it to other forms of music. Few hip hop albums are considered for album of the year because the committee doesn’t know how to equate a rap song to a pop song. And in some ways it is a difficult task, with a rap having more lyrics and traditionally less melody, but they must be compared if The Grammys expect to have an award ceremony that properly reflects the state of American music (which, it appears that they do not).

Is it an issue of race? Maybe, if only indirectly. Eminem was nominated for AOTY last year despite Recovery being underwhelming for both a hip hop album and an Eminem album. Though I don’t attribute this to Eminem being white. Recovery sold incredibly well (5.7 million copies as of this writing) and spawned two number one records on the Billboard Hot 100. So while it was not a great hip hop album, it was well received by the masses, which is what The Grammys are all about. Race factors in contingently by the committee being generationally disconnected from hip hop. The people deciding the greatest album of a given year, an emblem of our culture, do not reflect the majority of listeners culturally or generationally, nor do they seem to understand the music of this time. Rap music is youth music, and to have the judges of our culture be less than youthful results in a lack of comprehension, an in turn skewed accolades.

Recently, while performing in Chicago, Kanye addressed his Grammy snub, saying, “I figured out though, that’s my fault for dropping Watch The Throne and Dark Fantasy in the same year.” The back-to-back releases indeed might have divided voters and unintentionally hurt Dark Fantasy’s chance of being nominated, but it’s not just a matter of technicality. This snub is a personal snub, a biased snub, and a cultural snub. As both a hip hop head and a Kanye fan I am of course biased, but when it comes to the rest of the nominees no album even comes close to Dark Fantasy except Adele’s 21. Even then, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is a musical masterpiece. Show some respect.