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Come one, come all into the rodeo of splash-page-ultra-narrative death. This is Near Mint Condition, the column where we gather in a neat circle and share the new funny books that are exciting us. It's communal. Like the showers. Like the water fountain. I go first. Don't lag behind. This week is replete with eccentric wunder-artists, premiere issues, and breast milk. It's going to be fun. Don't know what's coming out this week? Hit up ComicList. Excuses removed! ---- Saucer Country #1 Beast mode creative team, initialized! Paul Cornell and Ryan Kelly are teaming up for this new Vertigo series. The premise! Pah! You ask for a premise. Fine! Arcadia Alvarado is the Governor of New Mexico as well as the leading Democratic candidate for president. She isn't just a multiculturalist's dream, she also claims to be an alien abductee. Stop me if you see the metaphor. You see...illegal aliens, and, and, and. Who the fuck am I kidding? I haven't read it yet. I'm stoked though because Paul Cornell won me over with his Lex Luthor hilari-madness on Action Comics whole artist Ryan Kelly held it down on Northlanders. Seems like a tandem worthy of championing, and I'm always looking for the oddity channeled through the creator-owned funnel. ---- Fantastic Four #604 Holy tits!, Jonathan Hickman has been penning this title for three fucking years? Truth be made plain, I only know this because Marvel is marketing this issue as the conclusion of the "Three Year Existentialistory!" Well, without my snazzy made-up word. It's been a goddamn blast though, and as Hickman puts the bows on all his threads I'll be surfing the Trope Fantastic along with him. Three years. Pow! Jesus Christ. I have no idea how Hickman has handled all the various strands he has had dangling throughout the Omniverse, but they haven't let me down. When Future Franklin and Valerie emerged from their portahole or whatever at the end of the prior issue the nipples got a bit tight. ---- Saga #1 There is a form of kindness that is bestowing upon people that which they don't deserve. Paying it forward. I don't know if I deserve Saga by Brian K. Vaughn and Fiona Staples, but I'm going to fucking take it. The sci-fi tale of two people on opposite sides of a intergalactic civil war coming together and proving love can prove on the battlefield is finally here. After the announcement, we had the uproar over the whole Breastfeeding Thing. Like really, with the broken-spined booty popping and pushed-up titties that we're awash in, this maternal riff pisses someone off? Ohhhhhkay, Whatever. We're here. We've served our time. Behold the winged-horned-dialectic! This series is going to be fantastic. I can feel it in my knees. That's where I feel upcoming storms, my love for Commander Shepard, and quality upcoming comic books. ----- The Art of Molly Crabapple, Vol 1: Week In Hell There are times when I actually feel like I'm being a productive member of the Zeitgeist. Then there are times when I begin mulling over the existence of people like Molly Crabapple, and I slowly recede into my shell of self-condemnation and medication through caffeinated divining of the Gods. You may remember that last year Molly Crabapple spent a week in a hotel room drawing, drawing, and drawing some more. Her Week In Hell. This book is a chronicle of that experience, and a fleeting clarion call to me to actually do something. At the very least, let me serve as the Worthy Notice aggregator, funneling shit into your brain-stems that is worth interrogating. Buy this book. ---- Miscellany: If you're up for one more debut this week, another buzzworthy joint is Brian Churilla's The Secret History of DB Cooper #1. Endorsed by Warren Ellis, and praised by Comics Alliance it is yet another introductory title that I'm sweating. It seems that every other week the comic book turns there's a new issue of Wolverine and the X-Men. This week marks the seventh issue's arrival. Whatevs! Meanwhile for those libertarians in the pile there's Political Power #24: Ron Paul. I'd tell you to pick it up, but I'd be like. You know. Totally regulating you, man! Hungry for monsters? Check out the Lemire-powered Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E #7 or Incredible Hulk #6. Or if you're off the comic snide already and you're looking for something to deck out that ballin' messenger bag, there's the Game of Thrones Embroidered Targaryen Patch! I'm more of a House of Stark guy, but hey. We all make mistakes. That's what I'm eager for this week. What's catching your eyes, my friends? ---- For more of my stupidity hit up Omega-Level.