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before anything else, a review of boyparty reviews installment three: very sappy patriotic guy. it is weird but i like it that all of the men he likes are big with muscles and oil. when i was a very small child i had a very active imagination, and now even though i am a much bigger boy my mind and soul are still wild and boundless and i do not even know what i want to be when i grow up and get even older. because of all of that and also that life is a highway, this installment’s theme is:
aspirations and heroes and dreaminghaving a job that you have to go to five days of every week: so weird and incredible that every human is supposed to do it besides royalty and the homeless because it is so bad. new idea for utopian garden place with no work except for picking fruits and kissing: there are some tweaks to work out but yes, very excellent, start drawing up the paperwork immediately. today’s hangover: a parasite. there is a reptile coiled around my stomach that tightens its hold whenever i move and the nerve endings inside my brain are in the devil’s frying pan. the robin’s egg blue stretch range rover limousine with spinners i dreamed up last night: pinnacle of fantasy, magical realism. the stretch pink mini cruiser limo I actually did see three years ago: ! mid-90’s mitsubishi that looked black from far away but turned out to be dark purple: i don’t get it. fools me every time. the hypothetical future tattoo that reads “i love you probably” in third grade cursive across the front of my neck: an excellent look, waiting to make my first billion before pulling the trigger. the hypothetical future tattoo of sarah michelle gellar’s kiss on my left pectoral muscle: would be the pinnacle of the medium of body modification, waiting for her to finally ditch that doofus jr. before i ask. the guitar i asked for and got for christmas in the sixth grade that i never learned to play and still stands in a corner of my childhood bedroom: a symbol of something inside me that is maybe bad and selfish and impotent. the band that i never started with junior high friends called hellbringers: a missed opportunity. i do not think we would have had any stadium tours or major triple platinum records but my soul would have really flourished in that sort of creative environment. then again, it is never too late! how for most of childhood i wanted to be a downhill ski racer: very sincere, has something to do with embracing nature by competing with it. i am not much of an athlete. my elementary school friend’s older brother’s band pelvic thrust: better when i was eleven. riff raff: no words for this or punctuation either tim dax the tattooed devil: a beautiful monster among small and worthless men. the riff raff ft. adam west in batman costume music video i dreamed last night: next level. sincere and powerful. contact Jmaxalbert@gmail.com my heroic actions in a chinese restaurant shootout in a different dream also from last night: lightning quick, instinctual. deserving of some sort of medal or key to the dream city. the dream i had of my junior year literature teacher naked and her nipples were perfect: very excellent dream. was looking forward to sequel but it never came. the dream in a movie they made us watch in class in fifth grade where a kid who was a little bit older than us made his sheets sticky afterwards: dull and unimaginative. censored by the man probably. oklahoma city: half empty heat tornado ghost town with young and talented professional sports franchise. the mountain goats song this year: very inspirational. it is not about me it is about the guy singing it but it also is about me so i am yelling along forever inside. the leo lionni book frederick where all of the other mice are preparing real hard for the winter by collecting food and building a place to live and frederick the mouse doesn’t help at all and looks like he’s just being lazy but then when it’s actually winter and all the other mice are cold and unhappy it turns out that frederick is a poet and he tells them poems that warm their brains and fill their souls not their bellies: very nice picture book with good collages. but he maybe should have helped still with the gathering of the food because it is bad to starve, worse even than no poems probably. the resurgence of the trend icing: fun, very good omen for future generations. list of the top 5 dream jobs one. cowboy two. space cowboy explorer three. louis l’amour four. personal assistant/husband to high powered business lady five. hit the jump for the review of my list! juvenile and american. does not reflect today’s global economy. this guy is possibly a narrow-minded weirdo. or maybe it is just that his soul is a pop-up book. one day his time will come?