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American Horror Story Re-Up: Mutants & Penises

By Whole Milk, 11/02/2012 - 1:00pm
I guess it was going to happen at some point, but I had wished the AHSA would keep up it's white hot streak across more than two episodes. Not that "Nor'easter" was really bad, but it was more reminiscent of the worst of Season 1 than the opening salvos (and, not coincidentally, written by Jennifer Salt who penned 1's "Murder House". You remember, the one where the burnt face guy killed Kate Mara with a shovel then Dylan McDermott buried her in the yard and promptly built a gazebo over it what am I even writing). It was messy, and not in a fun way. That being said it brought the horror, and featuring some good scenery chewing (and literal destruction!) by Jessica Lange and GOAT James Cromwell. What even happened here? Let's see, the episode began with another flash to the increasingly convoluted "present" storyline, where Adam Levine inexplicably survives numerous stab wounds to the chest to help his wifey kill Bloody Face, only for several other Bloody Faces to show up (they're teens who dress up to scare/kill people?) but then the real Bloody Face shows up and kills them what am I even writing. Why does that keep happening? So it does look like the flashes to the present will continue throughout the season, and will offer no respite from the craziness on display in Briarcliff. A craziness which continues to build. Sister Mary Eunice is totes possessed at this point, and is the driving force behind much of the episode's action. Lily Rabe is doing a fine job as the freeky version of Mary Eunice, but I kind of miss her bizarro take on a purely naive nun. Oh well. Now she gets to talk about James Cromwell's decrepit wang and putting it places it don't belong. It's not Shakespeare folks! She's also secretly torturing Sister Jude with relics related to her hit-and-run, leading Jessica Lange to get saucy on communion wine like she was still married to Sam Shephard and wander the hallways, running into an alien. Oh right, the aliens. Cool. Mary Eunice also murders another inmate with scissors and feeds her to the forest mutants. Oh right, forest mutants. Cool. Dr. Arden questions Kit about the spider robot. Oh right, spider robot. Cool. And the rest of the inmates watch a Charles Laughton movie. Also pretty cool. But unfortunately, the central storyline was again Kit, Lana, and the French girl trying to escape, because Lana believes Kit is innocent now. I was pretty put off by this shift in character, and I hope next week they try to regain at least a semblance of character consistency. The sympathetic feel of the show I had been talking about over the past two weeks was pretty absent here (except for the obvious and easy compunction you feel for Shelly when she almost gets raped and then gets her legs cut off for making fun of James Cromwell's micro penis). Micro penis. The escape attempt is foiled by the forest mutants (who we finally see. They're bipedal. Melty), and the escapees end up running right back to what they want to get away from. Themes or something? I suppose I'll just have to wait until next week, though I wouldn't mind rewatching the scenes where Cromwell paints a porcelain madonna with lipstick whilst yelling "whore!" a lot.
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