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"Ratchets"; Why White People Can't Have Anything Nice

By Behold the Destroyer, 04/09/2013 - 11:30am
Lil Debbie steps out from behind the sundial like shadow of Kreayshawn with the video for "Ratchets". Watch as homegirl sports a look that's reminiscent of January Jones (aka Betty Drapper) in X-Men: First Class, while all of her dancers channel Peg Bundy from a chitlin circuit production of Married With Children. Listen to Debbie liberally borrow A$AP Rocky's entire flow. Watch as she busts a struggle twerk that makes Lady Gaga look like Trina—queen of the asses. If you listen closely, you can hear "ratchet" start to slide down the slipery slope from harmless appropriated slang, into the mire of "is this kinda racist?" If I was strictly a cynical viewer, I'd point out how homegirl draping herself in big bootied strippers, in identical wigs, and Budweiser one piece bathing suits, might send a shitty message about how she views black women. I might say, that by surrounding yourself with black women in a song called "Ratchets"—while you wear a blinding all white outfit for half the video—might come off as you calling black people, en masse, "Ratchet". If I was strictly a thirsty dude, I might point out that I was really surprised that Debbie was able to muster that much wobble with her approximately 94lb frame and lowfat snack cakes. However, as a proponent of social justice and ass sciences, I will mention both.
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