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12 Years A Slave, Django Sans Fun

By Behold the Destroyer, 07/18/2013 - 8:40pm
12 Years A Slave tells the true story of Solomon Northup, a black resident of New York, who was kidnapped into slavery for twelve years and forced into manual labor, while trying to get a job with a circus. As the story goes, he's finally freed—sans the aid of a kindly German dentist/bounty hunter or the satisfaction of gunning down his captors and burning down their plantation. Somehow I doubt this movie will leave me with the same, "feel good" afterglow of Django Unchained. But, I guess not every movie about human bondage can end with racists shot dead, and dressage. 12 Years is directed by Steve McQueen (Hunger, Shame), the British director best known for making movies thematically centered around Michael Fassbender's dick. Somehow I doubt Fassbender will manage to get his cock out, as every actor in this seems to be going hard for those Oscar nods. I don't have empirical data to back it up, but I'm pretty sure the Academy frowns on dicks flapping around in "important movies that teach white people moral lessons". That's why you never saw Sean Penn's dick in I Am Sam. 12 Years A Slave opens on October 18th.
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